


Taekwoon and the year of "Les I'm miserable" (or maybe not so much)

by MegaLia



Series: VIXX goes to Hogwarts [1]
Category: K-pop, VIXX
Genre: Alternate Universe - Harry Potter Setting, Alternate Universe - Hogwarts, Family, Fluff and Angst, Friendship, Hakyeon is a literal ray of sunshine, Happy Ending, Homesickness, M/M, Stupid wizards are being stupid, Taekwoon is a bit gloomy, fight me, pre-neo
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-09-04
Updated: 2019-09-04
Packaged: 2020-10-10 02:37:06
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 25,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20520563
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MegaLia/pseuds/MegaLia
Summary: Taekwoon is definitely not excited about his first year at Hogwarts.





	Taekwoon and the year of "Les I'm miserable" (or maybe not so much)

**Author's Note:**

> Hello and welcome to the first part of my "VIXX goes to Hogwarts" Series. Each work will cover one year at Hogwarts. If you're wondering why only Taekwoon and Hakyeon are in this story: I want to keep to their actual age differences so the rest of VIXX will join in later works. I also took great care at choosing their peers. Only 90-line Idols are found in Taekwoon's and Hakyeon's year. The problem is that I don't know them all so I asked the internet where to best put them. Even though I don't know them and their personalities I'll do my best and research them and what makes them special. 
> 
> Another choice I made was that there will be no teachers from the actual Hogwarts School for Witchcraft and Wizardry. Instead I've chosen older Korean Celebrities as their teachers. My version may also divert in a few other points from the actual Hogwarts so don't be surprised. 
> 
> So without further ado, buckle up and enjoy the ride, because this is a monster of a fic and probably the longest thing I've ever written >_<
> 
> Have fun!

Platform 9¾ was as busy as can be. Just like every other year it was brimming with people, big and small, pushing around luggage carts stacked to the top with bags and suitcases and other stuff necessary to survive one year of living abroad. It was almost comical how some of these people were barely able to see over their fully loaded carts, only the top of their heads and a pair of eyes visible from the front.

Taekwoon wasn't one of those people though. He had already managed to get rid of his cart which was now, hopefully, being loaded onto the train. The big red and black train that didn't look as imposing as it had been described to him. Taekwoon actually liked trains. He liked the whistles before departures. He liked the sounds a train made when you sat inside it, the constant _Chuga – Chuga – Chuga_. Coupled with sitting at the window, looking out into the constantly changing scenery it was almost soothing enough to lull him into dreamland. Yes, Taekwoon liked trains.

What he didn't like though was this day. No scratch that. What Taekwoon didn't like was the whole last year.  
He didn't like the sudden change in his hair colour when he was upset, nor did he like the suddenly levitating crockery.  
He didn't like the sad face his father was pulling after those happenings.  
He didn't like the strange letter that suddenly appeared seemingly out of nowhere in their house.  
He didn't like the talk he had with his father and he really didn't like being a stupid wizard and having to go to a stupid school far away from his home.

It really wasn't fair. Just this year he had made so many good friends – only two but seeing as he was the awkward kid he was throughout most of his life that was a success – and know he had to leave them behind again. There were so many plans they had. They'd spend the summer holidays together and make it the best ever and then once the new year started they'd be sitting next to each other in the same class, writing funny little notes during classes and then one day they'd move in together and be like a really cool family with loads of money because of course they'd all have super successful jobs, _duh_.

It was a waterproof plan or at least it had been. Now it was just a far away dream because stupid Taekwoon had to be a wizard and needed to learn how to control and use his powers and he wasn't allowed to tell his friends because they weren't wizards and know they would just move on without him while Taekwoon had to be alone again in a new school with loads of new people and stupid wizard stuff and it was just not fair.

_”You are special, Taekwoon,”_ his father had said while sitting on Taekwoon's bed and stroking through his hair after Taekwoon's legendary crying fit.

As a general rule Taekwoon wasn't the most expressive kid but after learning that all his carefully made plans were being destroyed he couldn't help it anymore. The calm and collected Taekwoon had been replaced by a toddler that didn't get what he wanted and thought the whole world was set against him. There was lots of screaming and crying and banging of doors involved until Taekwoon's power had run out and he just buried himself in his mountain of pillows on his bed and cried his soul out.

Taekwoon really didn't want to be special. Not if it meant watching his whole life crumble into pieces.

Yes, even as kid Taekwoon was a dramatic bitchTM..

Now Taekwoon stood in front of the stupid train that would bring him to this stupid school and he hated it. No that was to weak a word. Taekwoon _absolutely detested _it.

There were so many strangers on the platform and everyone was talking and his father wasn't there and he was all alone and about to go off to a completely new school and it was horrible.

Taekwoon saw his father only a few minutes ago as they watched kid after kid run straight through a wall – _A WALL_ how dumb was that? - but he already missed him like crazy. Not to mention his friends. Surely they had already moved on and where having fun sitting in class and passing notes and laughing not even bothered about Taekwoon's absence and _wow_ that thought hurt.

Taekwoon's eyes stung and he quickly hoped onto the train as he pressed Shadow closer to his chest. He didn't want to cry in the middle of all these people, and future classmates, because it was embarrassing and he really didn't need the title crybaby attached to his already awkward persona.

Also, crying wouldn't solve his problem. Taekwoon's dad was set on sending him to that stupid school because _it's going to be fun and you'll learn loads of new and exciting stuff there, Taekwoon._

Taekwoon wasn't dumb. He could see the look in his fathers eyes as well as the unshed tears. He didn't want his son to go as well but it was the best for him and as much as Taekwoon hated the thought of leaving his life behind he knew his father would never make him do something that wasn't in Taekwoon's full interest.

That's also why Taekwoon went with his father to buy all the magic stuff, which wasn't all that bad if he was being honest. He got to choose a pet after all and he always wanted a cat and now he had Shadow – because there wasn't a single spot on the cat's fur that was anything but a deep midnight black – and he really loved her. She was also currently clawing holes into his shirt but that was alright because she was probably just as nervous as him.

Taekwoon didn't know if he was allowed to bring his cat onto the train but it's not as if he cared anyway. Shadow was his best friend now and he would fight anyone who tried to take her away from him.

There were other students streaming into the train behind him and Taekwoon was pushed further along the train. Hopefully he'd find an empty compartment in which he could wallow in his self-pity and premature midlife crisis.

He was not granted such a luxury seeing as most of the compartments were already taken. There wasn't much left as he came towards what seemed to be the end of the train and Taekwoon had to settle for the lesser evil of choosing a compartment with only one student in it.

There weren't that many to begin with so there wasn't much choice but he still needed to choose wisely. Seeing as he also wouldn't be able to wallow in his self-pity he at least needed to find someone that would leave him alone so he could stare out of the window and pretend that he was already on the train ride home.

His choice came in form of a small boy – probably a first year like him – with black hair, who was staring out of the window with a straight face

_Perfect_, Taekwoon thought. The boy was probably just like him and wanted to be left alone. Now there was just the thing with collecting the right words because Taekwoon was awkward.

You see most of the kids in Taekwoon's age would be exploding with energy and bursting at the seams with barely concealed excitement. They'd be babbling to everything and everyone about the new adventure before them and how excited they were and so on.

Taekwoon wasn't like most kids in his age and he never really was. From small on he was very quiet. In fact he was so quiet that the adults worried he had a learning deficit and couldn't pick up the language.

Taekwoon did pick up the language but he was never keen enough to voice more than his basic needs like food or sleep or the toilet. It wasn't that Taekwoon didn't like words. He loved them and it was so much fun to think about all the things he could say and think up.

Taekwoon just didn't like noise. He preferred the calm quietness of the world without any noise. Sure there were noises he liked, like the _Chuga – Chuga - Chuga_ noise trains made or the many different sounds of the forest or the waves gently rolling over the ocean. It was harmonic and soothing and he loved soaking those sounds up.

What he didn't like was the strangeness of voices. There was always that feeling in the back of his head that voices and words didn't sound right. Almost as if they were warped or something. It was a strange feeling that Taekwoon couldn't explain but he got used to it.

His dad used to say that he had gotten that behaviour from his mother. She was also someone who preferred the quietness of their little village over the roaring noise of the big cities and favoured sitting next to each other in a comfortable silence over having a forced conversation because that was what was expected.

In the past he loved this trait that he seemingly got from his mother because it made him feel connected to her in a way that no one else would be.

In later years he learnt that it was a bit more bothersome because no one was like Taekwoon so it came as a total shock to him as he came into kindergarten where he was suddenly confronted with _so_ much noise that it almost wasn't bearable.

There were kids giggling, or talking or screaming permanently that Taekwoon just wished to be somewhere far far away, preferably in a forest far off from any kind of civilisation.

It wasn't any better once Taekwoon got enrolled to primary school where he was asked questions and everyone expected him to answer things he didn't know or understand. It wasn't better than kindergarten but Taekwoon grew used to it with time. He grew used to sitting at the far back and try to make himself as small and unassuming as possible so that no one would try to ask him questions he didn't know or couldn't answer. It made getting through school easier but it also lead to a lot of loneliness.

It wasn't that Taekwoon hated human contact. He desperately wanted to make friends but he was just too awkward and shy and quiet so that he never really went up to someone to ask if he could play with them.

That was until Eunji and Minhyun came along, took his hands and just pulled him into a game of hide and seek. Taekwoon loved that game because you had to be quiet in order to not be found and he was really good at being quiet so he was always found last.

He became attached to Eunji's quiet laugh and Minhyun's stupid jokes and in a matter of days they became inseparable and that was the first time Taekwoon actually liked going to school.

Now that was in the past and Taekwoon had to start all over again beginning with saying hello to the other person in the train's compartment.

Knowing that Taekwoon had to do this – because he couldn't just stand for the whole duration of the train ride – didn't really help with his nerves. The usual cleanly sorted words in his head had started to become a total mess resembling the aftermath of a tornado and it scared the shit out of Taekwoon.

In his arms Shadow was already complaining at the almost aggressive way in which he was petting the poor cat but Taekwoon couldn't help it. He was so nervous because he knew that this was going to be horrible and that it was the worst decision in his life.

Maybe his dad was wrong and this would not be a good experience for Taekwoon.

Maybe he could jump of the train again and maybe his dad would be still waiting by their old trustworthy Toyota and-

A sharp hiss escaped from Taekwoon's arms as he stumbled against the glass wall of the compartment as the Train set into motion.

_Too late_, Taekwoon thought and to his growing horror a pair of huge brown eyes rested on Taekwoon. It seemed like Taekwoon's little stunt had pulled the attention of the brown haired boy onto him as he watched the strangers plump lips form into a frown and a thin eyebrow was pulled towards the hairline. Taekwoon just wished for the ground to open up and swallow him whole.

Maybe he should just go into one of the fuller compartments that way he wouldn't have to deal with that embarrassment but it was too late for even that because the boy was standing now and _oh dear he opened the door!_

“Uhm... Hi?” the boy asked as uncomfortable as Taekwoon felt. He couldn't form any words so he just stood there with moving lips though no sound escaped them and in his arms Shadow grew restless at her owners rough petting.

“Are you by any chance looking for a seat?”

Taekwoon's face was still burning but he at least managed a nod. And it was quite comical how the boys face changed from confusion into something almost along the lines of relief? Taekwoon wasn't sure why the other would be relieved at having to share his empty compartment with someone else but there were stranger people out there. He wasn't exactly normal either, right?

“Come in then! Your cat looks like it could use some space.”

As if on cue Shadow jammed her claws into Taekwoon's arm and with a sharp cry Taekwoon let go. Shadow used Taekwoon's arm as leverage and with one jump she was sat on the rack above the seats.

“Traitor,” Taekwoon growled as he held his injured arm. Shadow on the other hand just turned her nose up and began cleaning the ruffled fur her owner caused through his aggressive petting.

“It really isn't the cat's fault... It looked almost like the poor thing was a stress ball or something.” Hakyeon laughed and sat down where he was before and motioned for Taekwoon to take the seat in front of him.

Forgetting his previous embarrassment thanks to his cat - _NOT_ \- Taekwoon closed the compartments door and took the offered seat.

“But it is a very cute cat you've got there,” Hakyeon continued as if Taekwoon wasn't there and mustered the cat through her cleaning process, “I don't think I've ever seen such shiny black fur. It kind of matches your hair a bit if you look at it closely.”

Taekwoon hadn't even thought about that but now that he mentioned it...

“What's it's name?”

“Shadow.”

If Hakyeon noticed that Taekwoon's voice was about ten times quieter than his then he didn't let it on.

“That is such a beautiful name and it matches him-?”

“Her.”

“- It matches her perfectly.”

If there was something like an approving meow then that's the noise Shadow gave for Hakyeon's compliment.

“Did you think of it?”

A nod and Hakyeon's smile softened.

“That's amazing. I named my owl Brownie because her fur is brown.”

Taekwoon thought it was a good name for an owl and he liked that it was a type of food that he really enjoyed.

“Hey!” Hakyeon's eyes lit up in excitement as he started rummaging through the small bag he had resting on the floor between his legs. “Do you want some biscuits?”

He pulled out a bag with different shaped biscuits and Taekwoon mentally congratulated himself on his choice of compartment buddy. If there was one thing that always worked for Taekwoon's nerves than it was food and especially sweets.

His head might have fallen off, if it wasn't attached, so hard did he nod and Hakyeon laughed as he offered him the bag. Not waiting for another invitation Taekwoon grabbed a thin round biscuit and bit into it. It was heaven. After the day he had Taekwoon thought that this was the single best thing on this whole world.

“How are they? You can have another one if you want.”

Taekwoon gave another enthusiastic nod and grabbed a second biscuit, this time one in the form of a … strangely shaped horse? Taekwoon didn't now what it was because it really looked like a horse but the top half just didn't seem to fit. Not that it mattered because the head was gone in under one second so no time to dwell about the rest either

Hakyeon chuckled and grabbed one for himself.

“I'm glad you like them. My brother and I made them yesterday because he doesn't want me to be alone in Hogwarts and the easiest way to make friends is with biscuits, right?”

This caught Taekwoon by surprise and he nearly choked on a stray piece of horse shaped biscuit on it's way to his windpipe.

Had Taekwoon heard right? Friends? This kind, biscuit offering stranger with the chocolate brown hair wanted to be friends with Taekwoon after knowing each other for less than 10 minutes? Even after he made such a fool of himself?

The memory made his cheeks heat up again. Taekwoon hadn't even introduced himself and already demolished two of the strangers biscuits in record time. If his dad could see him he would cuff his head in disappointment.

The boy though didn't seem to be bothered by Taekwoon's behaviour.

“I'll just take that as a yes. I'm Cha Hakyeon by the way,” the bo- Hakyeon introduced himself as he held out his hand.

Still dumbfounded but with the stern voice of his father telling him to be polite he took the offered hand and gave it a light squeeze.

“Jung Taekwoon.”

Hakyeon's eyes crinkled as his lips stretched into a full smile that emphasized Hakyeon's perfect cheekbones.

“Nice to meet you Taekwoon. I hope we'll become good friends.”

Taekwoon's answer consisted of a super lame “yeah” and he wanted to disappear in the ground again but then Hakyeon was offering the bag of biscuits again with an encouraging smile and he couldn't help but return the smile.

Maybe this wouldn't be as bad as his first day in primary school.

* * *

Hakyeon kept on talking for the most part of the train ride.

He talked about how nervous he was at finally being able to go to Hogwarts – a sentiment that, clearly, Taekwoon couldn't share as of now.

Hakyeon also rambled on about all the things his siblings told him in order to scare him – which Hakyeon was not _Thank you very much_ \- and about all the cool things in Hogwarts. Apparently the stairs were moving and wouldn't let you get to class on time which, _really_?

As if running through a wall wasn't crazy enough there were moving stairs? What else was there? Talking pictures?

(“You don't know about moving pictures? That's crazy!”)

Apparently there was loads of crazy stuff going on in that school and Taekwoon really couldn't understand how his dad could think that this was a good choice.

However, Taekwoon couldn't change his situation now and just had to accept that his life would end one day because he missed a moving staircase and fell face first into the abyss of doom. _What a way to go..._

Some other stuff Taekwoon learnt about Hakyeon himself though included the fact that he liked to dance, saw himself as something called a “Hufflepuff – whatever crazy thing that was – and he liked banana milk, not something Taekwoon would have expected the wizarding world to have.

(“We are not savages...!”)

The important thing though was that it didn't really seem to bother him that Taekwoon wasn't that much of a talker and only gave one or two worded answers – in rare cases even up to five words. Hakyeon just kept on talking for both of them and never seemed to run out of things to talk about and-

It didn't bother Taekwoon.

That was definitely a first. Taekwoon couldn't even stand his cousin Pyongho – someone he was related to by blood – because he seemed to become his most chatty self in Taekwoon's vicinity. Sometimes he would talk so long until Taekwoon had enough and just let out a scream and made his dad come to his rescue. Some days just the thought of Pyongho was enough to make Taekwoon cringe inwardly and withdraw into his little bubble.

With Hakyeon though he didn't have that problem. It was true that Hakyeon talked _a lot_ \- probably even more than Pyongho – but there wasn't that usual strangeness to his voice. That thing that made other peoples voices sound so warped seemed to be missing with Hakyeon. There was nothing besides Hakyeon's cheery voice. Kind of like when he was out in a forest and he could listen to the birds melodies. Taekwoon had to admit that he really liked listening to Hakyeon.

Shadow also seemed to have taken a liking to him, seeing as she had abandoned her perch atop of their heads and instead started to snore away in Hakyeon's lap. A soft purring could be heard and if it wasn't for the fact that Taekwoon also thought Hakyeon to be quite soothing, he would feel just a tiny bit betrayed. Shadow was his cat after all.

Anyway, turned out that the ride through hell wasn't all that bad and for a few hours he even forgot about every bad aspect of being a wizard. He was just content in sitting there, listening to Hakyeon's voice telling a tale about something his siblings had done and shadows gentle purring.

Taekwoon could already imagine that, with Hakyeon by his side, this Hogwarts thing wouldn't be all too bad. That was until Hakyeon explained to him what Hufflepuff meant shortly before arriving at the school.

“I've meant to ask before but what house do you want to be in?”

“House?”

Hakyeon chuckled.

“Yes house. Which one do you prefer? I want to be in Hufflepuff, like I've said before, but I also like the other houses. My sister was a Slytherin for example and she is so cool you won't even believe me.”

His eyes shone with all the admiration one could could have for their older sibling.

“Although she said that Slytherin probably wouldn't be something for me because apparently I'm not devious enough, whatever that means.”

Hakyeon waved the comment away as if it was an annoying fly but Taekwoon couldn't focus on anything. What was Hakyeon talking about?

His thoughts must have shown on his face, seeing as Hakyeon stopped in his rambling and he mustered Taekwoon from head to toe before turning serious.

“Uhm please don't take this as an insult or anything but could it be that your parents aren't wizards like you?”

That threw Taekwoon off. How was, his parents being wizards, connected to, Slytherin or Hufflepuff?

“My mum.”

“She is the only wizard?”

“Was,” Taekwoon corrected almost on instinct.

“Oh I'm sorry.”

“It's alright.”

And he meant it. People didn't have to be sorry that his mother was dead. It wasn't their fault. Taekwoon didn't exactly know who's fault it was but she wasn't there anymore and he never really got to know her.

She died shortly after his second birthday in a car accident so Taekwoon couldn't remember her. Whenever people heard that though they always seemed to have the urge to feel sorry for him. Taekwoon wasn't really sad. Sure it was hard growing up without his mum but he had his dad and his three elder sisters – who all didn't have an ounce of magic in them so how could Taekwoon be the only one?

They were happy and his dad even married someone new when he was about six. Doyeon wasn't his mother but she gave it her all to make Taekwoon feel like it.

Taekwoon liked her a lot but that didn't mean that he forgot about his mum.

They regularly visited her grave and his dad always told him about the things they had experienced together. All this together was the reason why Taekwoon didn't really feel sad about the mother he didn't have, merely curious at how she was and how his life would have played out if she would have been the one to raise her.

“So no one really told you about Hogwarts?”

Taekwoon shook his head and a soft smile stretched over Hakyeon's lips.

“Then it's your lucky day that you've met me! I can tell you all about Hogwarts. Well not everything because I'm not sure what of the things I was told is true, but still.”

Hakyeon shook his head to refocus.

“Anyway, let's start with the most important thing, because I'm sure it's not that long anymore.

There are four different houses in Hogwarts: Hufflepuff, Slytherin, Ravenclaw and Gryffindor.”

Taekwoon thought he kind of knew in what direction this was going and he really hoped he was wrong.

“At the beginning of the year at Hogwarts there is this ceremony of sorts for first year? I don't really know what it entails because apparently no one is willing to talk about it.

In any case it's just something to determine in which house the students belonged.”

Taekwoon's hatred for the wizarding world had just multiplied tenfold. First they make him leave his friends and family in order to visit some fancy wizard school and now they'll take away the probably nicest person in this whole train from him?

That just wasn't fair!

He had just met Hakyeon one train ride ago and he was the first person that wasn't grating on his nerves and now they'd just separate them?

That's it, Taekwoon would not be able to live through this year. He needed a plan to get away from there as fast as possible but how?

_Stupid Wizard world with their stupid trains and magic platforms and their stupid school for stupid wizards!_

Hakyeon was still talking and Taekwoon really had to force himself to listen because he didn't want Hakyeon to think that he was rude or anything. Hakyeon was the only chance of having a friend at that stupid school, even though these chances had minimized drastically because someone thought it would be cool to split students into different houses.

“Each hose stands for different character traits. Hufflepuffs are super loyal, Gryffindors are super brave, Ravenclaws are super intelligent and Slytherins are super Cool. I'm sure there are more traits but that's basically everything I gathered from my siblings. Well mostly from my sister. My brother only ever talked about how awesome Hufflepuff was and I have to agree with him. He said that everyone there was nice and that the dormitories were super cuddly and I mean their sign is a badger, how cute is that?”

Absolutely not cute if Taekwoon wasn't going to end up in the same house as Hakyeon.

“Taekwoon?”

“Hm?”

“Is everything alright? You look like you're about to cry...”

That managed to effectively pull Taekwoon out of his existential crisis as he quickly wiped at his eyes. They were minimal wet so no big deal or anything.

“I'm okay.”

Hakyeon didn't seem to quite believe him but Taekwoon couldn't just blurt out the truth. He couldn't just say that Hakyeon was probably the only friend he would get and if they weren't in he same house then his life was over. Sure he could say that but Hakyeon really didn't have to know what a dramatic bitchTM Taekwoon could be.

He seemed to sense it anyway because Hakyeon was either superstitious or Taekwoon's face was that easy to read.

With gentle hands he picked up a lightly protesting Shadow and sat her down on the bench next to him. After that he leaned forward and grabbed both of Taekwoon's hands while directly looking him in the eyes.

“You know, I think it would be amazing if we got sorted into the same house and everything but I also wouldn't care if we were in different houses. Different houses don't mean that we won't see each other again. We're still in the same school, right?”

The smile Hakyeon threw him was so soft and full of warmth that Taekwoon couldn't help but agree. He was right, they were in the same school and even more they were in the same year. They surely would have some classes together and they could do stuff outside of classes as well. It was not going to be the end of the world, alright.

“How about a promise?”

“Promise?”

“I, Cha Hakyeon, promise that no matter in what house we end up in, be it the same or a different one, I will always be your friend.”

His voice had rose into something high and almost pompous but there was nothing but complete and utter honesty in his words and it spread through Taekwoon's whole body. Almost like the embrace of a soft duvet on a cold winter morning. Taekwoon really wanted this friendship to work so he gathered all the words in his brain and repeated what Hakyeon had said.

“I, Jung Taekwoon, promise that I'll always be your friend no matter in what house we end up.”

Well it wasn't the same but it carried the message and that was what was important. Hakyeon also seemed to agree as he nodded, squeezed his hand one last time and then let go.

After that Hakyeon left any serious topic be and just focused on telling Taekwoon about all the nice things in Hogwarts.

Like the tables setting them selves with loads of delicious food and other stuff that Taekwoon couldn't quite remember because //food//. He was actually quite hungry because he hadn't had breakfast in the morning. How could he? He was way to busy worrying about his life being ruined by some stupid wizard school. It was time that they arrived at this school. Hopefully it wouldn't be long until Dinner.

* * *

Taekwoon had to admit that Hogwarts was amazing.

Well not really amazing in it's whole because Taekwoon was still of the opinion that it would ruin his life but at least it looked very nice. It was less a school and more like a castle and to be really honest, Taekwoon absolutely adored castles.

On their family trips they'd always end up at at least one castle that Taekwoon would drag everyone into with him. He didn't care if they wanted or not. Call him childish but Taekwoon loved the idea of living in a huge castle all by himself on the top of a high mountain or something and just do whatever he wanted, whenever he wanted.

So Hogwarts had gained a plus point in the fact that it looked like a castle. It also lost a point though because they took a boat in order to get to it.

Not that Taekwoon hated water or anything. He actually loved swimming – not diving because that was just scary – but the idea of being on a boat just made his stomach swoop.

When he went swimming he was fully prepared to merge himself with the water but on a boat he wanted to stay dry if possible. A boat could tip after all and who knows how deep the water beneath him would be, not to mention the things that could be there just waiting for a leg or arm to dangle over the boats ledge. Nope, boats gave him the creeps so that was a big no for Hogwarts.

At least he was sat next to Hakyeon in the boat. His friend must have noticed his tense posture and quickly grabbed one of his hands. It was a really nice feeling because they were warm and long and showed the lovely contrast between their skin.

Hakyeon's skin wasn't dark per se. It was just that Taekwoon was as pale as the moonlight and Hakyeon had a natural tan. It suited Hakyeon though. The other boy radiated warmth so it was only legitimate that he had sun kissed skin.

Luckily the boat ride over the Great Lake – _very creative_ \- didn't take all that long and they soon came upon a kind of underground harbour? Yeah that was probably what it was.

The march up to the castle wasn't too long as well and they soon reached the entrance which really wasn't all that special. According to Hakyeon that was just a side entrance that the first years took for whatever reason.

The interior as well wasn't anything noteworthy – it may be added that Taekwoon was still of the opinion that wizards were stupid and that the school was dumb so his opinion might have been a bit biased – just plain stone.

His opinion didn't change even as they reached the top and were greeted by one of the teachers, Mrs. Park Jungsoo.

Sure, Mrs. Park – who introduced herself as a “Head of the House Gryffindor” whatever that meant – seemed like a very nice lady with her long flowing robes and the soft smile on her face that was marked by life. She probably wasn't even that old but as a kid everyone above the age of 20 seemed old.

Mrs. Park explained the houses to them again and Hakyeon hadn't said anything about _points_? There was actually something like a competition where you had to earn points for your house. Not only that Taekwoon didn't know how to earn points they could also be taken again and Taekwoon just hated it.

Did they take points if you didn't behave? Probably. But counted not answering in class as misbehaving? Oh god if that was the case everyone in his house would hate Taekwoon. He didn't want to lose any points but paying attention all the time was hard and not knowing the answer to a question was embarrassing.

They surely would call Taekwoon out because he would not be paying attention and then he wouldn't know the answer to the question and then everyone would laugh at him and he would loose points and his housemates would hate him and-

He couldn't do this. He needed to get out of there. Maybe he could swim across the lake and just run to the train station. Perhaps the train was still there and just about to return to the platform. Even if it wasn't there anymore he could just wait for the next one. Surely there are other trains coming and going-

There was a tug at his wrist and Taekwoon came back to reality. Hakyeon's face was morphed into a concerned frown.

“Are you alright? We're going again, come on.”

The tugging became stronger and there went Taekwoon's chance at running away as Hakyeon almost dragged him through the big doors. They entered a gigantic room where you couldn't even see the ceiling because it was covered by something like mist and there were thousands of candles just floating around the room. It was magnificent but there were also four long tables with hundred of students just sitting there and staring at the fresh meat.

Taekwoon gulped. That was too much attention for him. Would they all be present for that sorting thing? What if it was some ridiculous task that he couldn't do and then everyone would laugh at him?

On the other hand that probably wasn't that bad. Sure it would be embarrassing if they wanted him to perform some kind of magic that he couldn't do but maybe then they would notice that they had made a mistake. Perhaps they would see that Taekwoon wasn't actually a wizard and he could go home.

Taekwoon's hopes were, again, destroyed as they came up to a long table of adults.

_Probably teachers,_ Taekwoon thought.

That wasn't too odd though. The odd thing that destroyed his hopes was the hat Mrs. Park was holding in her hands. This hat should apparently decide in which house they belonged which was ridiculous. How could a simple hat-

The hat could talk...

Oh yes of course that was completely normal. Was Taekwoon the only one freaking out at having to put a talking hat on your head? A look around showed that yes, he seemed to be the only one. Everyone else was just looking on in wonder and astonishment.

So in the wizarding world it was normal that hats could talk, right? Taekwoon really needed to be careful about buying any hats here. Not that he liked wearing hats but it was good to know such a fact.

“Cha Hakyeon!”

Mrs. Park's voice ripped Taekwoon from his thoughts. It was Hakyeon's turn to get sorted. He gave Taekwoon's hand a light squeeze again – something Hakyeon seemed to do a lot – took a deep breath and went up to the chair.

It was barely placed on his head before it shouted “Hufflepuff” at the top of it's lungs. The long table to the far right cheered and clapped and welcomed their new housemate. Hakyeon seemed so happy as he greeted the ones sitting right next to him.

_Great_, Taekwoon thought, _if he wasn't placed in Hufflepuff Hakyeon would surely forget about him._

Perhaps there was some way of changing the hat's mind?

He didn't have time to dwell on that thought seeing as it was his turn and Taekwoon's whole stomach turned upside down. Luckily he hadn't eaten anything for breakfast because he was sure that it would have come up again right about now. That would be so embarrassing.

“Jung Taekwoon!”

His name got called a second time and as if by – _ha!_ \- magic his feet started to move towards the chair. Taekwoon hated it. Everyone was looking at him. Why couldn't they just look away? It wasn't that interesting, right? There was no need to stare. The hat was placed on his head and-  
  


**Hmm.... That's an interesting mind you've got there.**

Taekwoon Jerked at the sudden voice in his head.

_What is this?!_

**It is I, the sorting hat, my boy, don't be scared.**

Taekwoon was scared though and he really had to fight against the urge to scratch his ears out. He hated people talking but he hated it even more to hear a strangers voice in his head. How dare they?

_Get out!_

It was _his_ head. The one place where no one could enter and where Taekwoon could enjoy his words.

**What?**

_I told you to get out of my head! I hate your voice!_

Taekwoon may not be a great talker but in his head he had no problem with it. If that stupid hat thought it alright to just enter his mind without permission than Taekwoon would not give up without a fight.

**Not something I hear every day.**

_Because everyone else here is crazy!_

There was a low rumbling laugh and Taekwoon just wanted it to stop.

**That's some fight you've got in you. I think I know exactly where to put you.**

Before Taekwoon could think anything else the hat was shouting, “Gryffindor!”

For a few moments Taekwoon didn't even process the decision. All he did was stumble of the chair and rip the hat off. Okay he couldn't rip the hat off because Mrs. Park had already done that but still.

Taekwoon couldn't stop thinking and shouting inside his head. What if that stupid hat was still there? What if it could read his mind forever now? Was it possible to bleach ones mind? Taekwoon hoped it was because otherwise he would turn crazy.

There was a gentle hand on his shoulder and he looked up from his inner turmoil to see Mrs. Park gently smiling at him.

“Come on boy, join your housemates.”

With a soft but firm push she directed him towards the second table from the left and only then did Taekwoon register what just happened.

He was in Gryffindor.

Hakyeon was in Hufflepuff.

Taekwoon was so busy trying to banish the hat's stupid voice from his mind that he forgot to tell him that he wanted to be in Hufflepuff.

He couldn't help the groan that escaped his throat – which was luckily overpowered by the clapping of the Slytherin table as another one was placed in their house.

This day was awful and now this whole year would be awful because how could he still be friends with Hakyeon? There were two tables between them and Hakyeon was already happily talking to the girl sitting next to him. He looked so happy and Taekwoon hated it.

Call it selfish but Taekwoon didn't want Hakyeon to have any other friends. That of course wasn't true. Hakyeon was a very nice person and deserved all the friends he could find but Taekwoon was just so angry and exhausted that he couldn't think clearly. So right now he just wished that Hakyeon wouldn't find any friends. Later that week he would slap himself for that thought but for now he just left it at that.

The rest of the ceremony went by and there was the headmistress holding a speech but honestly? Taekwoon had more serious problems right now.

Fortunately the food Hakyeon had talked about appeared right before Taekwoon's nose. He was starving and after all the hardships he had to live through today he deserved all the food. Taekwoon may also have gone a bit overboard because after the feast was over he thought he could burst. Not his fault, the food was just too delicious.

After that it was time to go to their respective houses. He also learnt what Head of House meant. It was the teacher responsible for one of the houses.

Mrs. Park was responsible for them which Taekwoon thought was quite nice. He still hated the school but Mrs. Park seemed very nice and reliable. She also screamed confidence and knowledge. Taekwoon liked knowledgable people, especially adults.

Sadly it wasn't her that lead them to their rooms. It was Jung Yunho a 5th year “Prefect” - another word Taekwoon had learnt that meant someone who had been given special authority and responsibilities. He was also alright, Taekwoon guessed.

“Please follow me quickly because otherwise the stairs will change and you'll fall down.”

At the slightly panicked responses though he caved and gave a laugh.

“Don't worry, Hogwarts isn't _that_ mean.”

Taekwoon changed his mind. He didn't like him. At least not right now.

Looking around and up the stairwell Taekwoon could actually see the staircases moving which was crazy. Up until now he just thought it was one of those stories Hakyeon's siblings told him in order to scare him. But no, they actually moved.

As were the paintings. Taekwoon couldn't believe his eyes. All the paintings hanging around the stairwell – which was quite a lot – were moving and even talking. The people in the pictures were actually _talking_!

_“Look at those sweet kids.”_

_“Welcome to Hogwarts.”_

_“Don't make a mess.”_

_“Stop being so grumpy, Minhee you old hag.”_

_“Did you just call me hag?! Just you wait until I come over, Jiwon!”_

“Just ignore them. Minhee and Jiwon are always fighting.” Yunho said in response to the concerned looks the other students were giving the painting. “Just keep on walking! We're nearly there.”

Well that was something Taekwoon liked to hear. It may have been crazy to know that the paintings here actually moved and talked but that didn't mean he liked it. There was the whole talking thing again. Especially so many voices at once. The only thing worse than that was the hats voice directly in his head. Only the thought made a cold shudder run down his spine.

Hogwarts had lost so many points in Taekwoon's view that is was currently residing in the negative. How could his dad think this school was good for him? Okay well he himself had never been there and Taekwoon's mother apparently never talked much about the school itself. Perhaps if Taekwoon told him how bad it was he would not have to go back again. It was worth a try.

Meanwhile they had presumably arrived at the entrance to the Gryffindor Common room. Presumably because they were standing in front of a portrait of a lady. Yunho called it the Portrait of the fat lady which Taekwoon didn't like. Sure she wasn't super thin but that didn't mean they had to call her the fat lady. Taekwoon thought she looked nice and the beautiful pink silk dress she was wearing? Amazing. Still Taekwoon didn't understand why they were just waiting there-

“Password, please?”

Of course she wasn't just a painting. He should have really seen that coming.

“Starlight,” Yunho said and it seemed as if that was what they all had to do if they wanted to enter? The portrait swung open and revealed a secret entrance through which they all went.

“The password changes every year but don't worry, we'll always tell you what it is.”

Why would they need a password anyway? Was their house really that much of a secret? Did other houses have passwords as well? This school got more confusing and frustrating with every minute. Was this day ever over?

Taekwoon sighed and followed everyone into the great room, also known as Gryffindor's common room. Begrudgingly Taekwoon had to admit that it was a nice common room.

There were comfy looking chairs and sofas, a crackling fire in the middle and loads of soft carpets lining the hard castle floor. Everything was kept in a soothing red and Taekwoon felt the warmth radiating not only from the fireplace.

Alright so he could actually imagine sitting there with a good book enjoying a quiet evening. Too bad that he had to share it with others. Surely there wouldn't be a time in which the room was not occupied.

_Pity..._

Yunho showed them to the dormitory and from there on everyone had to find their own room. That wasn't too hard though seeing as all their things were already placed inside.

The rooms itself weren't that bad either. They certainly had the same flare as the common room, just without the sizzling fireplace. The beds looked quite comfy as well. Taekwoon loved bouncy beds and his was a perfectly bouncy bed.

He was the first one in the room so he had a bit of time to inspect it in peace.

It really wasn't long before the other occupants of the room came trickling in. All three of them had brown hair so that wasn't something Taekwoon could use in order to remember their names.

Great, he really didn't want to get their names wrong. Next to Hakyeon they were probably his only chance to make friends. Well at least it was more likely, Taekwoon couldn't know. Maybe they also had such nice voices as Hakyeon, that would be amazing.

“Looks like we're going to share the room for quite some time, eh?”

The one speaking was probably the smallest of the brown haired gang. He also had very prominent cheekbones so for now Taekwoon dubbed him Cheekbones.

“Yeah seems like it, doesn't it?” The one with the too huge glasses said.

The last one only nodded, his eyes fixed on the window in their room. His eyebrows were set into a frown and if Taekwoon didn't know better he would say that the boy was angry. Perhaps he was like Taekwoon and didn't want to be here. This could be his chance to connect with someone else.

“Are you alright?” Cheekbones asked whit a tap to Frowny Guy's shoulder.

“Who's sleeping there?” Frowny Guy answered with another question, completely ignoring Cheekbones. Taekwoon saw that he was pointing to the bed closest to the door.

It wasn't Taekwoon's so he just kept on watching from his place atop of his bed which was the one opposite the door.

“That's mine.” It was Glasses that reacted with confusion written all over his slim face.

“Do you mind switching?”

“Why?”

“The window.” Frowny Guy pointed towards the bed next to Taekwoon's. “I don't like sleeping so close to the window. 'm not really comfortable with heights...”

Ah so it wasn't anger but fear that made Frowny Guy frown. That was a bummer. His chances of not being the only unhappy first year shrunk to a zero again. Not that they were high to begin with but still it made a noticeable difference.

“Oh I see. Yeah sure, no problem,” Glasses guy said more enthusiastic now than before.

Frowny's eyes lit up as well and gone was the cold aura Taekwoon felt around him.

“Thank you so much! I don't think I could have lived through a single night next to that window. Have you seen how high up it is? How can they think that that's safe?”

A high laugh echoed through the room and for a moment Taekwoon thought there was another person with them. There was no one. Cheekbones laugh was just way higher than his actual voice.

“It really is ridiculously high! I mean there are so many stairs you have to climb, it's horrible.”

Cheekbones shook the laughter out of his face as good as he could.

“But don't worry, I'm sure none of us will try to throw you out of a window or something.”

“Everything but that, please. If you actually want to do it than at least tell me your names so I can haunt you once I'm dead!”

The joking was good naturedly and Taekwoon would have loved to join in but their voices were starting to bother him again. He still hadn't processed the whole day and his thoughts were one big jumbled mess.

“You're right! We haven't introduced ourselves. That's probably something we should do, seeing as we're going to be roommates and all, huh?”

“What? You actually want to know the names of your roommates? In what world are you crazy people living in?” glasses guy joined the joke and Taekwoon hoped that he could go to bed soon and forget everything about this horrid day.

“Call me crazy but I'll still start with introductions,” Cheekbones said with a broad smile that made his eyes crinkle. “I'm Seo Eunkwang, nice to meet you.”

Taekwoon didn't know what to think of him. He radiated a kind of Hakyeon feel but not quite. There was something off. Not that he seemed as if he was lying. Taekwoon wholly believed that he was a cheerful guy judging by his relaxed posture.

No mistake, Cheekbones was a good guy and maybe Taekwoon could even imagine to be friends with him. But first this day needed to end because as of now everyone was just plain annoying.

“My name is Yoon Doojoon. I hope we'll have a great time,” Frowny Guy said, a half smile plastered onto his face. The poor thing was probably still freaked out about the height. The castle was residing quite high on a cliff or hill – Taekwoon wasn't quite sure – after all and now he was also residing in the highest Tower of the castle.

Though as unfortunate as this may be, Taekwoon didn't have any more pity to spare. He desperately needed to recharge and reset his mind. This hat thing was still spooking around his mind and he had the horrible fear that it would haunt him in his dreams.

First it was Glasses guy's turn though.

“Nice to meet you, my name is Choi Kisu. I'm always a bit nervous around new people so please don't be surprised if I'm not talking all too much.”

Okay maybe Taekwoon had a bit of pity to spare. Well not pity but at least a sense of understanding. Taekwoon also felt nervous under all that stress and anxiety but Kisu seemed well enough for now.

All in all Taekwoon really couldn't complain about his roommates. Of course they all seemed a bit more talkative than Taekwoon – especially Eunkwang – but that really wasn't a hard thing to achieve. Their voices were still irritating but Taekwoon could imagine getting used to them. Once he had sorted out his thoughts and maybe even talked to Hakyeon? Perhaps then he would be able to try and get used to them. Right now though he was just happy about the silence and-

wait, silence?

Taekwoon looked up and sure enough the three of them were staring at him. Oh god he had spaced out again. What did they ask? Was it something about the beds? Did another one of them want to switch or was it something else?

This situation had spiralled out of Taekwoon's control. He couldn't just ask them, could he? No. Too many times people took that as an insult. Apparently it made Taekwoon seem like he wasn't interested in them.

Sure that was the case more than often but he actually wanted to try to get along with his roommates. They seemed nice enough and if they could just give him a few days to collect his bearings then everything would be cool.

“You know the thing with the haunting was just a joke, right?” Doojoon asked and Taekwoon didn't understand. Of course he knew that it was a joke. What kind of question was that?

“I mean we're not forcing you to tell us your name but it would help a great deal with communication,” Eunkwang added and that's when it made click in Taekwoon's head and a small piece of stone resting between his shoulder blades fell off.

Of course, he hadn't introduced himself. They all did it and now they wanted a name to Taekwoon's face. How could he forget such a crucial thing?

“Whatever it is it's surely better than just calling you 'You'-”

“Taekwoon. Jung Taekwoon.”

The three of them looked at him, expecting something and Taekwoon forced himself to add a very small “Nice to meet you”.

Oh god, today really was a bad day.

* * *

The night wasn't really any better.

Taekwoon barely managed to get his eyes shut for more than 10 minutes at a time. His mind was racing, trying to catch up with today's events. Mainly the bad things.

Whenever he actually managed to kind of start to drift off into dreamland, he could hear that stupid hats voice in his head. It was freaking him out and brought him to the edge of a panic attack.

He has had loads of those during his short life so he knew how to deal with them but that didn't make it any easier. Especially now that he had to share his room. He really couldn't just break down in the middle of the night lest he woke up the others. They were nice enough and left him alone during the rest of the evening. No one questioned his quietness and they just accepted it.

By the time bed time rolled around they were all dead on their feet and classes started the next day. Taekwoon really didn't want to wake them up because of his stupid mind.

So in order to avoid that he put on one of his warmer tops, a pair of socks, took his music player and as quietly as possible, sneaked out of the room.

Apparently they weren't allowed to wander Hogwarts at night. Even if they'd be allowed to do it, Taekwoon didn't think he would be up for it, this castle gave him the spooks.

Instead Taekwoon went into the common room which was – surprise, surprise – completely devoid of any students. The only noise that could be heard was the crackling of the fire. It was perfect and Taekwoon didn't loose any time of snatching one of the cosy looking blankets from the couch and parked his behind in the chair closest to the fire.

Once sitting he wrapped himself up like a burrito until only his hands could move and finally relaxed. His thoughts were still running a hundred miles per minute but at least it wasn't dark anymore. Taekwoon wasn't scared of the dark but once his mind went into hyper drive he more often then not saw stuff that wasn't there in the dark. That really wasn't something Taekwoon needed right now.

Enjoying the warmth of the fire and the silence Taekwoon did some of the breathing exercises one of his doctors had recommended. It wasn't effective in the sense that it calmed his mind but his body relaxed palpable and his heart rate calmed down. That was the first step.

The next step was drowning out his thoughts until his mind had returned to a complete Zen.

For this Taekwoon pulled out his music player and a pair of headphones. Perhaps Hogwarts also had an internet connection. That way he could text his dad. Taekwoon really wasn't sure if Hogwarts counted as being abroad and didn't want to risk any roaming fees, so calling his dad wasn't an option.

Perhaps tomorrow if he had the time he could check that out or even ask one of the other students if he found the courage.

For now though he just put the headphones in his ears and started his music player.

Only problem: It didn't work.

That was odd. Taekwoon was sure he had charged it properly before leaving. Did it break during the journey? It didn't look like it though. There was no scratch or anything else that indicated anything that could be wrong.

A sneaking suspicion entered his mind. Was it the school? Maybe there was some kind of spell or whatever preventing the students from using what? Music player's? That was just stupid, right?

Taekwoon could understand phones. It wasn't something unusual. One of Taekwoon's sisters had complained about the school having banned phones at her school a few years ago. He understood why. They were quite distracting and they learnt a lot about safety and risks of phones in his school so Taekwoon could understand it.

That wasn't an explanation though, why his music player wouldn't work. He can't use the internet with it, nor could he take any photos with which he could blackmail other people – something they had learnt during one of the talks they had last year about cyberbullying.

The only thing it could do was play Taekwoon's favourite music. Seriously if he couldn't do that he would actually turn crazy and probably just punch someone. They can't just take music from him, can they? That would be just cruel.

Taekwoon sighed. There wasn't anything he could do about it right now so he just packed it away again. Tomorrow he would try and see if it'd work again and if not then maybe he would ask a teacher or something. Or maybe not a teacher? What if it wasn't even allowed to bring such things into the school? Would he lose points for that? Oh god he didn't want to lose points. Maybe one of his roommates knew something about it. As far as he found out, all three of them grew up with magic. Surely they'd know something about it. No need to risk loosing points.

_”Meow.”_

“Dear god!” Taekwoon jump two feet into the air. His poor heart that had just calmed down, was racing again. The culprit of Taekwoon's nightly distress though didn't seem to care about the shock he had just given his owner. Shadow was calmly sitting there, cleaning her face.

Establishing that he was not, in fact, in danger he sunk back into the chair trying to calm his beating heart again.

“I hate you so much.”

That really was too much for Taekwoon's nerves. As if it wasn't bad enough that he couldn't drown out his thoughts.

“Where have you been anyway?” He asked the cat who just meowed back at him.

He sighed again.

“Well then get on my lap you silly cat.”

Not waiting for another invitation the cat happily placed himself on the offered lap, though not before jabbing his claws into Taekwoon's legs as she turned to make the perfect space for her bed

“Are you quite done now?” Taekwoon asked after the 5th turn to which Shadow just meowed and let herself fall onto the cover with a heavy sigh.

“Oh you poor thing. I bet you're life is so hard right now,” he said sarcastically and started to scratch behind Shadow's ears. A sad smile spread over his lips though at Shadow's happy purrs.

“Yeah mines not better either. At least I have you, you little traitor.”

Shadow just meowed and Taekwoon leaned back in his chair again. The clock over the fireplace told him that it was barely 2 a.m. in the morning which meant that the night had barely even started.

His eyes watered.

“I don't want to be here anymore.”

* * *

As predicted, Taekwoon hadn't had a single wink of sleep that night.

In order to not be found out, least someone asked what his problem was, he snuck back into his room at around 6 o'clock and pretended to just have woken up once he could hear first movements from his other roommates.

Eunkwang was the cheeriest one, shortly followed by Kisu's childish enthusiasm. Doojoon was a bit more timid but one could still see his excitement at the prospect of having their first classes today.

“I can't wait to find out what we'll have first!” Eunkwang said and did a little jump.

“Do you think we're in the same class?” Kisu asked shyly an maybe a bit insecure.

It was understandable. They had formed kind of a friendship? Taekwoon didn't know if he would call it that.

Maybe more of an acquaintanceship?

Whatever it was, they knew each other a bit and that was way more than they knew about all the others. So Kisu's hopes were only natural. Taekwoon also shared that sentiment. Surely it would make things easier if he already knew someone.

“Of course we're in the same class,” Doojoon interjected as if it was the most obvious thing in the world. “We're only separated from the other houses. Well not all the time. Some classes we'll probably have to share with other houses, my mum told me.”

“I hope we can sit together,” Eunkwang chirped in happily. “What do you say, Taekwoon? Do you want to sit together, if there's a chance?”

That caught Taekwoon off guard. His sleep deprived brain wasn't working properly. Seeing as he still hadn't processed anything of the previous day it was even more useless than normal.

So instead of a properly formulated answer that should have been a loud and happy “Yes”, all Taekwoon managed was a completely befuddled “What”.

“You,” Eunkwang pointed to Taekwoon and then to himself, “and me, sitting next to each other during class?”

Eunkwang was actually being honest, right? This wasn't just a cruel joke his useless mind had come up with in order to deal with yesterdays stress, right? Right?

“I mean you don't have to if you don't want to and all.” He scratched his head and Taekwoon could hear a note of sadness in the hasty reply. That wasn't fair on Eunkwang's behalf.

_Taekwoon you idiot! Eunkwang doesn't know about your overworked ass! If you're not going to tell him at least get a grip and accept his offer! He's just being nice._

“Yes.”

“Oh okay than I'll just sit somewhere else if you-”

_Dear heaven and hell, Taekwoon! You're not actually this stupid!_

“No!” It was probably the loudest he had ever talked in the past days surprising even himself.

Everyone's eyes were on him and his face stood aflame. As if drawn to it, Taekwoon's eyes shot down to the floor as he began fiddling with the rings on his fingers. A bit much for an 11 year-old most people would say but they helped with Taekwoon's anxiety. Not much but they took the edge off.

“Yes,” he continued in a way smaller voice, “I would like that... I mean sitting next to you. If you still want to, that is. Sorry I don't-”

A hand suddenly rested on his shoulder and Taekwoon suppressed the urge to slap it away.

“Calm down, it's aright. I was only joking,” Eunkwang said and bent down in order to look into Taekwoon's eyes, a gentle smile stretching over his lips. “Of course I still want to sit next to you.”

_Dear, this was embarrassing_, Taekwoon thought but it also made the heavy load on his back a bit lighter.

Eunkwang clapped his back lightly and tried to lighten up the mood.

“Come on, the others are already on their way to breakfast. We should really catch up or there won't be any left for us.”

Like any other time the proposition of food was too alluring as to let it slide. His embarrassment would not stand in his way of getting more of that delicious food.

So Taekwoon lifted his head and gave Eunkwang a nod. He even tried a smile but Taekwoon wasn't sure if it came out as such or more like a grimace. If it was the latter Eunkwang didn't mention it and didn't let himself be bothered by it and together they left for the great hall.

* * *

Breakfast was unsurprisingly delicious but for some reason Taekwoon couldn't bring himself to enjoy it as much as usual. His stomach was churning constantly and seeing all the food before him made it even worse. It wasn't even that Taekwoon didn't know the reason. Finding that had been pretty easy and it was sitting only two tables further.

Cha Hakyeon.

Taekwoon had forgotten all about him in the morning and now everything came crushing down once he entered the great hall.

Hakyeon had already been there sitting with his Hufflepuff housemates and didn't even notice Taekwoon's entrance. Sure he could have gone over himself and just said good morning or something but anxiety was destroying his plans one by one. Why should he go over anyway? Hakyeon had probably already forgotten about him.

At least it looked that way as he was happily chatting away with the brunet boy next to him. Taekwoon couldn't see their faces but their body language was unmistakeable. They were talking animatedly and laughing about something probably very cool.

Even if Taekwoon could gather the courage to go over, he would probably just destroy the mood. Taekwoon definitely wasn't as funny as that guy or Hakyeon. He would just be a bother to Hakyeon and destroy Hakyeon's relationship with the other students from his house. Taekwoon was a complete looser – and an idiot, but idiots often don't notice their own idiocy, so he couldn't know that.

Anyway, that was the reason for Taekwoon's stomach problems. That and probably the stress from the last few days. His housemates though couldn't know that. How should they, if Taekwoon didn't talk about anything. That's also why they kept on pestering him.

“Why the long face?”

The older boy to his right asked while shoving some rice into his mouth. His plate was fully loaded with some Galbi, spicy seafood salad, bean sprout rice and some radish strip kimchi. On normal days that would make Taekwoon's mouth water but today it just wasn't doing it for Taekwoon.

“Let me guess: First day nerves?”

He smiled and picked up some kimchi before eating it.

“Don't worry, the teachers won't eat you. _Yet_.”

Just the thought, that today he'd have to face new teachers made him feel sick. At his old school every teacher knew about him and his problem so they never put him on the spot or anything. Well not for the first year but after that they left him alone.

With everything running through his head though he had completely forgotten that nobody here knew that he didn't like answering questions in front of everyone. Great, now he really couldn't eat anything anymore.

“Wow you're turning all green,” the older boy said and put an arm around his shoulder which was really hard for Taekwoon to ignore.

He wasn't the greatest fan of strangers touching him but he also knew that people could see that as an insult and he genuinely wanted to try to get along with his housemates. Or at least make them not hate him.

“Don't worry, I was just joking.”

Of course Taekwoon knew he was joking but in his condition that wasn't the best joke to tell. The older boy put his chopsticks down and quickly wiped his hands on his robes before holding it out to Taekwoon.

“I'm Lee Hyukjae but call me Eunhyuk.”

“Why Eunhyuk?”

“You know a normal person would take the hand and introduce himself before asking questions.”

And indeed, “Eunhyuk's” hand was still hanging in the air, waiting for Taekwoon to take it. Hadn't he already had his fair share of embarrassing moments? When could he finally get a break?

Suppressing the urge to hide his probably beet red face he took the offered hand even if a bit shyly.

“Sorry, I'm Jung Taekwoon.”

“Oh dear boy, I was just joking. I'm not actually mad at you or anything. Do you always take everything so seriously?”

No, only because this stupid school was driving him crazy.

“Anyway, don't worry about today. What's your first lesson?”

“Transfiguration?”

“With Mrs. Park? Oh that's very chill. She's the best and most patient teacher here. I couldn't do transfiguration, even if my life depended on it during my first year.

Well and the second year. Now that I think of it,” Eunhyuk had taken his arm away from Taekwoon's shoulder again and continued eating, “I don't think I've actually gotten good at it.

Mhm, that sounded wrong. It's not Mrs. Park's fault really. She's a great teacher but I just never really cared about transfiguration. Potion's way more my thing because it's like baking and I quite enjoy baking so-

What was I talking about?”

That actually brought a small smile onto Taekwoon's lips.

“Patient?”

“Ah right! Despite me being a total loser in that subject she never got angry with me and always encouraged me. Seriously, she's great. Best Head of House!”

  
That piqued the interest of another student on the opposite site, this one with dark brown hair and very expressive eyebrows. Seriously, Taekwoon didn't even know you could do that with your eyebrows.

“Are you talking about Mrs. Park?”

“Jupp,” Eunhyuk answered popping the “p” before shovelling in another load of rice.

“She's awesome! You've got her now?”

Taekwoon just nodded and finally managed to eat a bit of dry rice. He really needed to eat something, even if he had to force himself.

“Cool. Tell her her favourite student Siwon said 'hi'.”

A booming laugh resounded from Taekwoon's left, making him twitch and lean his body away a bit.

“You really think you're her favourite? You constantly change her stuff instead off what we should actually be transforming.”

“We're not even in the same class, who told you that?!”

Trying to stifle her laughs she pointed to Eunhyuk who was innocently shovelling down his food. Betrayal was written onto Siwon's face as he accusingly pointe his chopsticks in Eunhyuk's general direction.

“That was _one_ time!”

“Two times,” Eunhyuk corrected after swallowing his piece of Galbi.

“Not true!”

“There was third year where you changed her hair colour and made it resemble a cloud and then just last year you got her cat stuck in between a wall.”

“It was an accident and I also got Bubbles out again by myself. I'm still her favourite,” Siwon defended himself with a pout but the girl to Taekwoon's left just kept on giggling.

Turning towards Taekwoon, once she had collected herself, she threw a magnificent smile at him, a single black strand falling into her eyes.

“Don't listen to him. Mrs. Park doesn't do favourites. She's like Switzerland. Not even if it's about other houses because you know, some teachers prefer students from a specific house. Not Mrs. Park though. You're lucky to have her first thing today. She always manages to brighten my day.”

It was her turn to reach out her hand. Other than Eunhyuk though, she just grabbed Taekwoon's unoccupied hand and shook it.

“I'm Song Victoria by the way and am currently in my 4th year here. Nice too meet you!”

Not giving embarrassment another chance, Taekwoon introduced himself and quickly went backs to his food. This time he tried a bit of the kimchi – because kimchi is always an option. It was amazing, just like yesterday.

He still felt odd but their talk about Mrs. Park helped a bit, even though their voices were grating on his nerves. It was just that, with all the other conversations going on all over the place, it was slightly overwhelming for Taekwoon.

His housemates meant well though, so he really tried to not ignore them. He also found out that Eunhyuk and Siwon were 5th years and he really didn't want to insult someone older. Contrary to popular believe he actually knew manners and always tried to be as polite as he could manage.

* * *

Breakfast went by as bearable as possible. His housemates were surprisingly welcoming and even though Taekwoon didn't talk much he never really felt as if he was being left out. There was always a point where they asked for Taekwoon's opinion, even if that only consisted of one worded answers or simple gestures. It didn't bother them as much as Taekwoon had thought the day before, for which he was grateful.

On the other hand Taekwoon could see that this chatty side of his table could become a problem with time. Especially if he couldn't get enough sleep, which was most probably the case this week.

He learnt that apparently, electronic devices didn't work in magical households. They just weren't compatible with magic and seeing as Hogwarts was basically made up of magic, electronics won't stand a chance against it. That was a hard blow for Taekwoon. It meant no music and no contacting his father.

Sure he could write a letter and send it by owl but that would surely take ages. How could they not have found something quicker? They could use magic and the only way of staying in contact was by owls?

Humans managed to develop cellphones without any kind of magic and, even though it wasn't that way in the past, nowadays they could send a message within seconds. Taekwoon's sympathy for the magic world did not grow. Why have magic if technical developments were way better?

Anyway, Taekwoon had to find another way of resetting his mind. Pity that he couldn't look it up on the internet because apparently wizards also don't have internet. That's just crazy, almost like back in the old days. It was really frustrating. He could go to the library in Hogwarts but Taekwoon doubted that they had books about _how to not be overwhelmed by wizards_.

That was a problem for later though. Right now Taekwoon had to face another big problem: Classes.

He walked there together with his roommates – Hakyeon hadn't given him one look by the way, which got Taekwoon thinking loads of anxious things – because otherwise he would have gotten lost. The castle was like a whole new universe. It seemed that not even the Headmistress knew all of Hogwarts secrets. Who actually thought that was a safe place for students? Crazy, all of them.

Once inside the classroom they sadly had to split up. The only free tables were at the front and at the back. Seeing as Kisu needed glasses, Eunkwang and Taekwoon decided to take the table at the back. Well Eunkwang decided that and Taekwoon just nodded along happily.

The back was good, especially seeing as Eunkwang took the corridor seat. That way if Taekwoon slouched just right in his seat and bent his shoulders he could make himself disappear from the teachers mind.

The class started with Mrs. Park introducing herself again, as well as the subject Transfiguration. Apparently it was a branch of magic that _focused on the alteration of the form or appearance of an object._

Kind of easy to remember. Mrs. Park also made it clear that she was not tolerating any kind of messing around and that it was quite dangerous. Wasn't that a great thing to teach 11-year-olds?

It also wasn't quite as easy as the definition. There were loads of things to consider and things that weren't allowed and Taekwoon couldn't really follow all of that. Were they supposed to write that down or did they get like a worksheet? Or was it just something they had to instantly remember? Hopefully it was written down in one of the books he had had to buy.

“Alright class! For the end of the lesson, let's try to apply what we learnt today into practice. Each one of you should have an apple on their desk, right?”

The class gave a murmured “yes” leaving a confused Taekwoon.  
  
He didn't have an apple-

Taekwoon's eyes caught on something at the corner of his table. Indeed, there was a small red apple. How had he not noticed that? It was red! His mind must have been really off right now. Oh boy, this was going to be fun.

“Good. Now I want you to try and turn this apple into a ball like this.”

Mrs. Park gently tapped her wand against the apple three times before she said “Apple into Ball” and sure enough the delicious looking apple morphed into a rather boring red ball. The process itself was not boring, but the result. Taekwoon would have preferred the apple.

“Don't worry if it doesn't work straight away. Just try to imagine the apple turning into a ball while speaking the words. Any questions?”

Silence.

“Alright, go on then. We have ten minutes left before the class ends, try your best.”

“Here goes nothing,” Eunkwang joked from the place next to Taekwoon and pointed his wand at the apple. He did the same thing as Mrs. Park and it worked. Well kind of.

At least one half of the apple turned into a ball, the other half stayed the same. It looked kind of funny, Taekwoon had to admit. Eunkwang seemed to share that sentiment as he started giggling.

“Do you think I can pass this as a ball if I just cover up the other half with my hand?”

Taekwoon just shook his head with a silent laugh. From what he had learnt in this single class, Mrs. Park was not stupid.

“I think it's worth a try. Mrs. Park, I made it!”

As quick as it came Taekwoon's laugh disappeared again. Great, now they had her attention and oh boy, she was coming over. Taekwoon really wanted to disappear right this moment. Was there a quick and easy spell that'd make him invisible?

Too late.

“I can still see the apple half, but that was a very good try Mr. Seo. Just keep on practicing and I'm sure next time it will work.”

Taekwoon understood why the others liked her. She had such a gentle way of speaking and there was a twinkle of appreciation in her eyes when she saw Eunkwang's attempt and _oh_. She was looking at Taekwoon. She had noticed him. Quick, he had to do something before-

“Mr. Jung, why don't you try it. I won't eat you if you can't do it,” she said with a playful wink and Taekwoon gulped.

Was it hot in here? Taekwoon could have sworn that it hadn't been that hot before.

He could feel eyes on him. Were the others staring at him? Mrs. Park stood in the way so he couldn't see if the other students were still practising or staring at him.

“Don't worry about it Mr. Jung. I'm not expecting perfection. Not even anywhere near what your friend managed to do. I just want you to get a feel for your wand and maybe grab onto some magic while you're at it. Just try it.”

Taekwoon knew a hopeless situation when he saw it. There was no way she was letting him slip.

With a big gulp and a heavy sigh he turned his attention towards the apple. This couldn't be too hard, right? He was a wizard, so this should work just fine. Why was he overthinking this so much?

Another deep breath and Taekwoon tapped the apple.  


**Tap.**

_Apple into Ball._

**Tap.**

_Just imagine the apple turning into ball._

**Tap.**

“Apple into Ball.”

**Tap.**

Nothing happened. Of course nothing happened. Taekwoon was a horrible wizard.

Mrs. Park patted his shoulder.

“It's aright, Taekwoon. Barely anyone can do it at their first try.”

There was nothing but honesty in her eyes and Taekwoon felt a bit better.

“The important thing is that you don't stop trying. Practice,” here her voice grew louder so that everyone could listen, “is what makes a wizard good. I want you all to know that there is nothing like a natural good wizard. Everyone has to start somewhere. There are some wizards that have talent but it is only a means to an end. Without practice even talent won't help you.”

Another chorus of enthusiastic “Yes” echoes through the room as everyone went back to practice with new motivation.

Mrs. Park reached into her cloak and pulled out, what Taekwoon could only identify as wrapped yellow candy before placing it in front of him.

“Motivation,” she said with a wink and left for another table.

Alright, so Mrs. Park would definitely be Taekwoon's favorite teacher from now on.

Yes, Taekwoon was that easy to buy.

* * *

Taekwoon was more positive about his classes now then during breakfast.

There was almost no Situation where Taekwoon felt like he was put on the spot and Mrs. Park was awesome. Hopefully the next class would be as good as that because than this school wouldn't actually be too bad.

Of course, Taekwoon still worried that he would be left behind by everyone else because they were much better wizards than him but Mrs. Park had taken that fear. At least a bit.

Next up on the time table was Charms which was taught by Mr. Lee Sangsoon.

Mr. Lee was the headmistress' husband and quite a lively guy probably in his mid forties? Taekwoon wasn't good at guessing, but he didn't look too old. Not as old as Mr. Park anyway.

His hair was one big mop of brown curls. It almost looked like he had put his finger into a socket. Not that they had that here but still. He had a very open posture and a broad smile with loads of teeth. Perhaps he was a bit too cheery for Taekwoon's taste but the first impression can be deceiving.

“I saw you just came from Mrs. Park's transfiguration class?”

Collective nodding.

“Great! Let me tell you first things first: Charms is not as serious as Transfiguration. Sure it is an essential part of performing greater magic because here you will learn the right wand movements and incantations. Those can be quite tricky because sometimes. If you stress the wrong letter, for example, the spell could either not work or do something completely different. Otherwise I'll try to make this as relaxing as possible.”

He clapped his hands and started with the groundwork of Charms. Taekwoon had noticed that he was gesturing a lot with his hands during his speech and for Taekwoon's taste Mr. Lee seemed to try a bit too hard to get along with them. But that could also only be Taekwoon's opinion. Everyone else seemed excited.

“Now lets practice that basic levitation charm I've told you about. You see this Quill?”

It wasn't hard to not see the Quill currently residing on a podium in front of the class. Mr. Lee got out his wand, moved it in a circle with only his wrist moving while speaking the words “Wingardium Leviosa” before flicking the wand at the Quill and keeping it there. He slowly moved the wand up and the Quill followed as he directed it.

Taekwoon had to admit that that was quite cool. He had always wanted to make things fly.

Mr. Lee placed the Quill back to it's prior place on the podium and looked at the class.

“Now I know this looks very easy and I tell you that it's one of the easiest spells but there are a few things to pay attention too. First you need to do the right wand movement. I know it looks exaggerated but that's the only way to do it. Second,” he said and went towards the chalkboard to write the Incantation on it while underlining the “-gar-” and the “-O-”, “you need to pronounce these two stronger than the others. Otherwise the spell will not work, alright?”

The class nodded again, eager to get practicing.

“Great! Oh I almost forgot: Does anyone mind if I put on some music?”

Taekwoon's ears perked up. Did he just say music? Was there a way to listen to music?

“It usually helps me relax and I've heard from many of my students that it helps them too.”

No one seemed to be against the idea and Taekwoon thanked the gods. It was also quite good music. Nothing Taekwoon had on his playlist but something that he could imagine putting on it.

It was a blues song but not like you would hear normally. It had a kind of underlying rock theme which was quite hard to describe.

To put it in easy words: It was new and very relaxing – which you wouldn't think at first because of the rocky character. At this point Taekwoon would just about listen to anything though. Music was his one and only retreat and it created a kind of white static in his brain that was so relaxing in contrast to the frantic thoughts.

In fact it put Taekwoon in such a good mood that he felt no fear in testing that spell.

He did the same thing Mr. Lee did and also tried to pronounce it right. Still, nothing happened. He moved his wand up and down but nothing happened until he was about to try the spell again, when he suddenly heard a loud thump making him jump. He quickly looked up only to see everyone else looking at him. What just happened?

“That was excellent, Taekwoon!”

Mr. Lee's broad grin was shining into Taekwoon's eyes.

“But maybe next time you try to focus on your quill, alright?”

And Taekwoon didn't understand the world anymore. Why was everyone looking at him? Taekwoon turned towards Eunkwang with what was hopefully a questioning look. It was because Eunkwang gave a laugh.

“Oh dear you didn't notice?”

“No?”

“You just made Kisu's book fly up and down and then it landed on the table when you lifted your wand in order to cast the spell again!”

Was that why his quill wasn't moving? Had he actually performed magic? Oh come on! He performs magic for the first time and then didn't even get to see it? Great.

“Even though it gave me a heart attack it was quite amazing,” Kisu added with a smile and Doojoon, who was sitting right next to Kisu gave a thumbs up.

Taekwoon's cheeks felt hot all of a sudden but he didn't feel the need to hide.

Probably the music. Music was the only thing that made him so relaxed that embarrassing situation's weren't as embarrassing anymore. He still banged his head on the table and put his arms over his head when the compliments didn't stop. He didn't know how to handle compliments.

Eunkwang just rubbed his back with a laugh and that's how the lesson ended. Taekwoon didn't try the charm again, to horrified of what could happen next. Not that they had had much time left to practice it anyway.

* * *

“Seriously, you did great!”

Eunkwang kept on praising Taekwoon even on their way to the Great Hall.

“I barely managed to make the quill hover over the table but you? You just moved that book around as if it was as easy as breathing.”

“Yeah and you should have seen Doojoon when the book fell down,” Kisu interjected sniggering, “he actually dropped his wand. It was amazing!”

“I almost had a heart attack.”

“I thought it was great!”

“Stop it guys...!”

Now that the music was gone again Taekwoon not only felt embarrassed but also uncomfortable. He really didn't know what to do with praise and instead shrunk into himself as good as possible. That didn't help with Eunkwang on his side because he just put his arm around Taekwoon's shoulder and dragged him along like that.

“Aww you don't have to be shy about it.”

“Come on, Eunkwang, leave the poor guy alone,” Doojoon said coming to Taekwoon's rescue, “you can see that it's making him uncomfortable. Let's just focus on getting to the great hall. I'm starving.”

If it wasn't for his anxieties,Taekwoon could actually have kissed Doojoon as Eunkwang let go of him and skipped ahead.

* * *

Lunch was a loud affair again and took almost all of Taekwoon's energy. Hakyeon was nowhere to be found which was quite odd. Maybe he had already eaten or something. Not that it was any of Taekwoon's business. Hakyeon could do whatever he wanted. It's not like they were friends or anything.

Ouch, that stung as a couple of memories swarmed his mind again.

_I, Cha Hakyeon, promise that no matter in what house we end up in, be it the same or a different one, I will always be your friend._

Promises were stupid, Taekwoon decided as he discretely wiped his quickly watering eyes. He hadn't known Hakyeon for long but being cast aside that easily hurt.

Oh well maybe he should move on just like Hakyeon had apparently.

That was easier said than done.

* * *

Surprisingly classes helped a little bit. It made him focus on something else. Sure they weren't the most interesting but still good.

Taekwoon quite liked Herbology because there wasn't any real magic involved and he liked learning about all the stuff plants could do. Especially because Taekwoon had never seen such plants. Taekwoon couldn't help but soak up every word Mr. Seo said.

He really had a great time there.

Less so with Defence against the dark arts, what a name. Quite scary if you asked Taekwoon but no one ever did. He really didn't like the fact that they needed to defend themselves against evil stuff.

As if Hogwarts wasn't dangerous enough Taekwoon learnt about the things living in the forbidden forest.

Seriously who thought this school was safe for kids? A forest called _Forbidden Forest_ on a school ground? That was just screaming _UNSAFE_ in Taekwoon's world.

It wasn't a bad class though, considering the fact that they didn't do any actual defending but reading and writing. That's another thing Taekwoon had to get used to because here they actually used Quills. Who in their right mind still used Quills? They could teleport for heaven's sake but a pen was too much? Taekwoon didn't even know what to say anymore.

Anyway, classes went by without any mayor thing happening – for once Taekwoon did not embarrass himself, thank you very much.

Now came something though Taekwoon had actually been looking forward to. Charms was great and all because they learnt that levitation charm and Taekwoon loved the idea of making things fly. More than that though, Taekwoon loved the thought of flying.

Actual flying high in the sky together with the birds into the sunset, that was just magnificent. It also wasn't that far fetched anymore because right now it was time for Flying lessons.

They would actually learn how to fly on a broom! How cool was that? Okay maybe not the broom bit but the flying bit was an exhilarating thought.

It also seemed like Taekwoon had a natural gift for it. At least that's what Mrs. Cho, their flying teacher, said.

The broom came easily into Taekwoon's hand and riding it wasn't that hard either. He jumped on it and imagined how he'd be able to fly high above the clouds where no one could reach him and he could feel free.

Taekwoon didn't even notice when he left the ground. Only when there was a shout of his name, probably from Mrs. Cho, did he open his eyes and came face to face with the top half of the Gryffindor tower.

Looking down he saw everyone else staring up at him in awe and he was so far in the air. Mrs. Cho was signalling him to come down again which Taekwoon did – even though not on his own free will – because Mrs. Cho said to not fly too high for the beginning.

His feet touched the ground again and suddenly everyone was clapping.

“See! I told you that you're a natural born!”

Of course Eunkwang had to add his comments and Taekwoon wanted to bury himself somewhere deep, deep down in the earth. Why did everyone feel the need to compliment him? Surely he couldn't have been the only one to lift off, right? Ugh, Taekwoon didn't know and he just wanted to be up there again.

Mrs. Cho clapped him on the back – something everyone here seemed to do – and congratulated him on his successful lift off.

It was nice but still, Taekwoon was tired. While watching everyone else try to fly up his exhaustion had caught up with him. Maybe today he would be able to sleep better.

During dinner he didn't get to talk to Hakyeon again because he was way too tired and exhausted as to form any coherent thought abut the brunet. Not to mention collecting the courage to talk to him.

No, that train had left the station. There was no way Hakyeon even remembered him anymore. Still it was nice knowing him and maybe in the future they'd share some classes or something. That would be a chance to talk to him again but Taekwoon didn't make himself any false hopes. It would just crush him even more.

* * *

Despite his exhaustion though, Taekwoon was not able to sleep.

Everything from today and the day before was muddle up with each other so that he didn't even know what happened when. It was crazily loud in his head and every thought was just screaming at him trying to pull his attention to it.

It was complete havoc in his brain and it definitely didn't help with sleep so Taekwoon did the only logical thing. He put on some thicker cloths and moved himself from his bed to the comfy chair in front of the fireplace in Gryffindor's common room.

Shadow had joined him again and this time Taekwoon tried something new.

He couldn't listen to music but maybe if he sang the songs himself it would keep his mind from overthinking stuff. It was definitely worth a try and it was not like anyone would hear him. Not with how quiet he sung.

His sisters never understood why Taekwoon was hiding his voice like that. They were of the opinion that Taekwoon's voice was too beautiful to be hiding. Taekwoon himself didn't know what to think. It wasn't that he disliked his voice or anything. He knew it was nice but he didn't like speaking because that created noise that he didn't want.

Complicated yes, but that was just how Taekwoon was. Still today singing would probably be his only chance at finding inner peace so he sang.

He sang one song after the other and before he noticed his eyes had fallen shut. It wasn't a deep slumber. Only a few minutes at a time. With earphones and music that would not be the problem because there would be constant music blaring into his brain.

Singing was another thing. As soon as he fell asleep he woke up again because the singing stopped and his thoughts came crashing in through the window like a bomb.

It was frustrating because all Taekwoon wanted to do was to sleep.

* * *

Sleep also didn't come to him the following days. Every day something else was happening.

For one there were the thoughts of the previous days and the restless night resulting from said days.

Then there were the new happenings. Sure there were some good things like Herbology where he could just sit there and listen. Or Charms, where Mr. Lee let them listen to music.

There were also his housemates which could count on either the bad or the good side of things. They took Taekwoon into their rows and actively tried to include him in their activities.

On the other hand it was also just exhausting. There was a constant stream of chattering around him during the day and at night the chattering continued in his head.

Also, Potions.

Taekwoon didn't like it. Sure the teacher was mostly alright, at least at the beginning.

Mr. Jung Jihoon had made a friendly enough impression on Taekwoon.

He introduced himself with a smile and despite being a bit more on the reserved side he explained everything to them with great care. It also wasn't the subject he hated. In contrary it was actually quite interesting because potions were awesome and stuff and could be used for so many things.

So the thing he hated wasn't the subject but himself.

Taekwoon managed to actually knock over his cauldron on the first day.

It wasn't anything dangerous. They were just brewing some Cure for Boils but in his sleep-deprived state he fell asleep for a short period of time. When the clock rang out to remind everyone that it was time for the next step, that was when Taekwoon woke with a start and promptly tipped over his cauldron. It was a huge mess and everyone was laughing. Mr. Jung was not laughing.

_”If you think wasting my ingredients is funny then you should better leave my class this instant.”_

He took 10 points from Gryffindor and the laughing stopped immediately.

Taekwoon was deeply mortified and couldn't look anyone in the eyes. It had been horrible to wipe everything by hand after the others had left. Even worse was joining them for lunch. The whole Gryffindor table seemed to have heard about his accident and found it greatly amusing.

None of them seemed to mind the loss in points but Taekwoon still couldn't meet their eyes. He hated himself for such a stupid mistake. If he'd just got to sleep like a normal person that would not have happened.

What if those 10 points made the difference? What if just because of him they'd loose the house cup? Everyone would be mad at him and he would be the absolute outcast.

Taekwoon's week was not good.

He still hadn't exchanged one word with Hakyeon and lost all hope in that ever happening again. Hakyeon was happy with his new friends and had forgotten about Taekwoon. Not that he cared anymore.

It was a lie.

He found it unfair as hell but it wasn't worth making a scene. Hakyeon had probably also forgotten about their promise.

It really wasn't a good week. Because no matter what he tried sleep wouldn't come and the happenings around him turned more embarrassing with every passing day.

* * *

Taekwoon had officially reached his breaking point on Friday.

It started with Victoria finding him asleep on what had become Taekwoon's night chair. Until then Taekwoon had slept a total of 12 hours over the week and was dead tired on his feet. Heavy eyebags marked his face, his face was puffy and his eyes were positively burning, screaming for a rest. He looked horrible and felt like it.

Everyone was asking if he was alright but that made the situation even worse. Their voices were grating stronger than ever before on Taekwoon's already thin nerves.

He couldn't eat properly because his thoughts were destroying him. Halfway through breakfast he stood up and went towards the classroom of their first class that day, Transfiguration.

Where he was looking forward to it at the beginning of the week he now dreaded it.

No matter what he did, he couldn't for the life of him transform that stupid apple into a stupid ball, not even half. Everyone else had already managed it but Taekwoon couldn't. Not even Mrs. Park's tries at cheering him up helped. They were just used as an excuse to cover up Taekwoon's actual incompetence.

That particular day it wasn't any different. While the others already advanced up to trying to turn a match into a needle, Taekwoon was still stuck on the damn apple.

Mrs. Park said she didn't mind but in his crazed mind he could have sworn he saw the disappointment in her eyes. It was just his imagination playing tricks on him but he couldn't know that at that time.

Mrs. Park was currently talking at the front. Something about the 5 laws of who knows who. They had gone through them on the first day but Taekwoon really couldn't remember what they were, even if his life depended on it.

There was also the added weight of having to deal with all the voices. Everything was simply getting too much. The loud voices and everyone's constant touching.

The stupid school with it's stupid rules and that stupid point system. In the past week Taekwoon had lost a total of 50 points for his house and it added even more to the pressure on his shoulders. Couple this with sleep depravation and homesickness and voila, you had the mess that was currently called Jung Taekwoon.

Honestly, all he wanted to do was go home, bury himself under his blankets, cry and wait for his dad to come up with a hot chocolate. He just wanted his old life back.

“Taekwoon?”

He jerked away from the sudden touch, completely ripped from his mess of a mind. Eunkwang had called him and as he looked around everyone was watching.

That was also something that happened more than once or twice a day. Stupid humans had that stupid habit of gawking at the misfortune of other people. Couldn't they just all mind their own business and let Taekwoon have his crisis all by himself?

“Are you alright?”

This time it was Mrs. Park talking and her soft concerned voice gave him the rest.

“I- uh... I- I don't- I-”

Tears were stinging Taekwoon's eyes as he tried to put his feelings into words but everything was just getting too much and-

Taekwoon stormed out of the room not aware of the concerned voices crying his name.

He ran out into the corridor but didn't know where to go. All he wanted was to disappear. Disappear from this stupid school. Disappear from all the mistakes he made. Disappearing from everyone's piercing stares. He just wanted peace and for his thoughts to stop screaming.

His legs eventually gave out under him and he crouched down into the closest corner getting into the embryo position and cried into his legs while rocking back and forth.

He wanted to go home. He wanted to forget all about the past week. About the broken promise, about the school, about being a wizard. He'd give everything to just be back in his old life and feel normal.

“Taekwoon?” A soft voice called and Taekwoon knew who it was, which didn't make the situation better.

He tried to press down on the sobs and muffle the ones that escaped nonetheless. He didn't want to be seen like this. He was strange already he really didn't need that to add to his list of things he hated.

Still nothing he did seemed to help as he suddenly felt a presence in front of him. A gentle hand rested atop his head and Taekwoon flinched away.

“I'm sorry I didn't mean to scare you,” Mrs. Park said in her mellow voice that she used whenever one of her students didn't manage the task she gave them for the lesson. Taekwoon got to know it more than well this past week.

“Do you want to tell me what just happened?”

Taekwoon shook his head. He didn't know if he could find any words right now nor did he want to.

“Alright but how about I bring you to the infirmary?” She asked like a mother would after her child had a nightmare. “Your classmates told me that you seemed very tired as of lately and I think the same. I'm sure that the nurse could give you something that would help you sleep. Do you think that would help?”

Taekwoon did not know if it would help. He didn't even know that that was an option as of now. He was just so exhausted of everything and wanted to be left in peace. How was he expected to make any kind of decision, really?

Mrs. Park though seemed to understand his silence.

“Come on,” she said and coaxed Taekwoon out of his crouch into a standing position, “let's get you some sleeping potion.”

Taekwoon would never be as grateful as that moment, that Mrs. Park was his Head of House, as she helped him get to the infirmary and make sure that he got some of that sleeping potion.

His crying hadn't stopped – if anything it only got worse – but it soon subsided into a bone deep tiredness. This was only intensified by the potion the nurse gave him as he lay down in one of the comfortable white beds.

“Get some rest.” Was the last thing Taekwoon could remember before he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep.

* * *

When Taekwoon woke up the next time he felt way better.

Sure the moment he regained consciousness, his thoughts started shouting at him again, flying all different directions so Taekwoon wasn't able to grab them but at least they reduced their screaming to an almost okay level. It wasn't to the point were he could simply drown them out but it was bearable.

His eyes also didn't feel like they were on fire anymore and his tense shoulders had gotten some time to relax. He really had needed sleep and now that he knew there was such a thing as sleeping potion he was more than content with having one problem less to worry about.

“Hey! You're awake.”

For a moment everything in Taekwoon stopped. Was he still sleeping? There was no way that-

“Hakyeon...”

Taekwoon couldn't believe his eyes. There, right next to his bed stood an angel with brown hair and a brilliant smile.

“I'm glad you finally woke up, sleepy-head.”

He pulled a chair next to Taekwoon's bed in order to sit down.

“The nurse was worrying that you fell into a coma. Can't really blame here because you were gone a whole day.”

_Wow..._

Taekwoon knew he was sleep-deprived but that he slept through a full day? That was just crazy. No wonder he was feeling quite hungry, but there would be time for that later.

Right now Taekwoon needed to refocus his attention on Hakyeon. What was he doing here? It's not as if he cared about Taekwoon the past week, why now?

“You had me quite worried you know?”

“Why?”

That piqued Hakyeon's attention as he drew one perfect eyebrow up.

“Why? Because I heard that one of my friends landed in the infirmary, of course I was worried.”

Hakyeon couldn't actually be honest, right?

He couldn't just ignore Taekwoon for a whole week and now play the friendship card. That just wasn't fair. As if Taekwoon didn't have enough problems already.

Taekwoon was annoyed. He really wasn't a vicious person or anything but even he had his breaking point and the past week had been exhausting enough. He absolutely had no patients for Hakyeon's bullshit. Said boy seemed to have noticed that something was off.

“Are you alright?”

“Why do you care?”

It was said in a quiet voice because Taekwoon still felt unsure. He was angry, yes but he also wanted to believe that Hakyeon would still be his friend. Even now while Taekwoon was annoyed, Hakyeon's voice was a balm to his strained nerves and he felt warm and comfortable around him.

Despite everything Taekwoon thought he still wanted to have Hakyeon by his side.

“What are you talking about? Why should I not care about my friends?”

“We're not friends.”

Wow, who would have thought, speaking it out loud was even more painful than just thinking it.

Taekwoon also couldn't look into Hakyeon's eyes. He had seen the hurt expression cross his face for a short moment and even that was too much. He didn't want Hakyeon to be hurt but Taekwoon was also hurt. It was only fair if he didn't watch Hakyeon.

“Why are you saying that?” Hakyeon's voice was as unsure as Taekwoon felt. “I thought we made a promise...”

“You ignored me all throughout the last week...”

“... Oh...

OH!”

Surprised at Hakyeon's raised voice Taekwoon chanced a look and the hurt expression was gone from his face. Instead it got replaced by one of surprise before it morphed into a soft understanding.

“God, I'm so sorry, Taekwoon I-

Okay, let me explain.”

Something akin to hope raised in Taekwoon.

Had he actually just misunderstood everything? Was there actually a reason for Hakyeon's actions? It wasn't an uncommon thing that Taekwoon misunderstood something. His mind liked to overthink stuff and always come to the worst possible solutions.

If it was about a person this overthinking usually ended in Taekwoon thinking that the person hated him.

_Oh god, please let it be the case this time as well!_

“Before I start, just know that I'm not someone who makes a promise and then doesn't keep it. I always keep my word, so please believe me when I say that we'll always be friends, no matter what.”

That in itself would have been enough for Taekwoon and he felt like he could cry.

“The reason why I didn't talk to you was because well-

Correct me if I'm wrong but you don't seem like the person who just goes up to people and asks them to be friends, from what I saw.”

Taekwoon nodded. It wasn't really hard to figure that one out.

“I thought you needed some time to get to know your housemates, just like me. I mean we're going to spend our whole school life with them and I didn't want to take the chance from you to make friends. If I hung around you all the time maybe others wouldn't think that you needed friends and then you'd be alone and I really didn't want that.

At the same time I also needed some time to get used to my house. I wanted to get to know them and seeing as you seemed to get along just fine with your housemates I didn't bother going over.”

Hakyeon gripped Taekwoon's hands which, oddly enough, did not seem to bother him too much. Maybe because he had had some sleep or simply because Hakyeon felt safe.

In any case, Hakyeon was fiddling with his hands, especially the rings on his fingers. Was he nervous?

“I'm so sorry if I came across as ignoring you. Believe me, that was never my intention. It's also not as if I didn't try to greet you. Whenever I looked over tough, you were either busy talking with the others or you simply weren't looking in my direction.”

Hakyeon was nervous. The two of them seemed to have had the same thoughts, even if the reason behind Hakyeon's was a bit more sound. Taekwoon just didn't do anything because he was of the honest opinion that Hakyeon hated him. Of course Hakyeon wasn't that shallow and Taekwoon hated himself for every bad thing he thought during that time. They really should have talked sooner.

Right now though Taekwoon needed to be strong and get a grip on his words. He needed Hakyeon to know that he wasn't the only one. So with one deep breath he began what was hopefully a string of coherent sentences that made sense and not just useless babbling.

“I'm sorry too.”

_That was a good start, keep going, Taekwoon!_

“I could have also gone over or something but I think I had the same thoughts as you.”

_Good stuff!_

“You never looked my way and I saw you having fun with all your friends and I just thought that I'd probably ruin that for you with my presence.”

That made a laugh escape Hakyeon's throat.

“I guess we're both idiots, right?”

And Taekwoon really couldn't agree more in the face of Hakyeon's cheery smile.

They were idiots, weren't they? God, Taekwoon could have saved himself so much drama if he had just gotten over himself and opened his stupid mouth. At least it meant that he had two problems less to worry about now.

“So we're good again?”

Taekwoon nodded and even managed to throw him a smile.

“Great! Then how about we make up for the lost time? There's a place I really need to show you and I believe you'll like it just as much as me,” Hakyeon said giddily as he stood up from his chair. “I'm going to get Nurse Kim so we can get you out of here, alright?”

“Alright.”

* * *

Nurse Kim was quick to release him from the infirmary with the offer to come over any time if Taekwoon had a similar problem in the future. Taekwoon was thankful that she didn't ask about the _how's_ and _why's_ because he didn't know if he could or wanted to answer those. It was hard enough for Taekwoon as it was. He didn't want to burden anyone else with his problems. They were _his_ problems after all so he needed to deal with them alone.

That this was not going to work was something Taekwoon would find out later on.

For now though he would enjoy his time with Hakyeon.

While walking through the great halls of Hogwarts Taekwoon tried his best to ignore all the noise from the students and the portraits. It was hard but definitely not impossible, especially with Hakyeon by his side. The other was easily talking over all the noise and gave Taekwoon something to focus on.

“There we are!” Hakyeon exclaimed in excitement as he ran up to a big maple tree in the middle of a wide open area. They had almost completely rounded the Great Lake which was quite a bit to walk but Taekwoon didn't mind.

After being holed up in the castle for the past week – except for that one time where they had flying lessons he had never thought about going outside the castle – this little nature walk was working wonders for his peace of mind. There was no useless chattering and even Hakyeon was silent, just enjoying the fresh air and the not quite cold fall breeze.

Not that it bothered them, seeing as their robes were keeping them perfectly warm.

That's another one of the little things that Taekwoon liked about wizards. Their robes were awesome. The were long and flowy and made for a dramatic entrance – or exit – without putting loads of effort into it. They were also super cosy and made it easy for Taekwoon to hide his hands. It was basically like a giant blanket with holes for arms and head. Perfect.

“Come here!”

Taekwoon followed Hakyeon's hand movements and stood right next to him.

“Now sit down,” he said and gently pressed down on Taekwoon's shoulders, “and look that way.”

Hakyeon didn't even give him a chance to act as he basically shoved his head in the direction he wanted him to look and-

“Wow...”

Taekwoon all of a sudden understood why Hakyeon was so adamant about going here of all places. It was absolutely stunning.

The sun was just ducking between the hills and shone it's warm rays across the Great Lake making it's surface shimmer like diamonds or stars.

Seeing as it was the late evening the sky's colours were slowly turning the usually cold grey of Hogwarts into a softer grey mixed with hues of orange and reds. Everything seemed to be in perfect harmony with each other and Taekwoon was blown away. He had watched many sunsets but not one was this beautiful that it almost brought Taekwoon to tears.

“Yeah, that was my reaction too when Minji and Ryeowook brought us here. It's amazing, isn't it?”

Hakyeon had planted himself right next to Taekwoon and leant his back against the strong Maple Tree.

“They said that this is the most perfect angle to watch the sunset because of the sun shining right trough the two mountains. I actually checked this spot out during lunch on Tuesday but it's not as mind blowing as right now.”

Taekwoon still couldn't manage to put his thoughts into words. It was so stunning that it even stopped Taekwoon's thoughts. Almost as if Taekwoon's whole body decided that for one moment everything was perfect and to not ruin it.

Well apparently not everyone had gotten the message because right in that moment Taekwoon's stomach gave a mighty roar.

The peaceful silence was quickly interrupted with Hakyeon's cheery laugh and a noise between a dying whale and a whine from Taekwoon who tried to hide his beet red face in his hands.

“Was that your stomach or a lion's roar? I wouldn't even be surprised if it was a lion because this school is crazy,” Hakyeon joked good naturedly, “but I think it was the first, right?”

Not trusting his words anymore he just gave a teeny tiny nod. It wasn't his fault. He hadn't properly eaten anything over the week and he was asleep for 24 hours. Taekwoon was totally allowed to feel hungry. Still it was quite embarrassing and Taekwoon just wanted to disappear in the next hole.

“It's about two hours left until dinner.”

In two hours Taekwoon's stomach had probably eaten itself.

“But do not despair my good friend because I, Cha Hakyeon your knight in shining armor, am prepared for every case!”

Taekwoon heard the rustling of a bag and-

Where in god's name did that bag come from? Taekwoon could have sworn that Hakyeon didn't have that in the infirmary. Or during their walk here. Was Taekwoon really that unobservant or was it the exhaustion still speaking out of him?

Whatever the case, Hakyeon now had a bag – let's just leave it at that – from which he pulled four little wrapped triangles.

“There you go!” Hakyeon presented proudly. “I know it's not much but that seemed to be the only thing Ryeowook managed to get from the kitchens. Usually it's more but right now they're preparing for dinner so he could only snatch some of the Onigiri. It's better than nothing I thought so I just brought them.”

Hakyeon had actually brought food for him how could he think that wasn't much? That was more than Taekwoon had expected. He had actually counted on dragging himself to dinner because he was so weak – not really, Taekwoon was just being dramatic again.

“No it's great,” he answered honestly and stared into Hakyeon's eyes to convey his gratefulness, “I hadn't expected anything so... Thank you. That's also for the biscuits on the train. I don't think I've told you thank you for them.”

This time it was Hakyeon's turn to blush. Other than Taekwoon though he did not try to hide it and simply scratched his neck sheepishly while averting his eyes.

“It's no big deal, really. I knew that you'd probably be hungry once you woke up so yeah.”

Taekwoon had already started to unwrap the first Onigiri and was pleasantly surprised that it was still warm. He took a bit and something akin to a moan escaped his throat as he closed his eyes in bliss. After not having any appetite whatsoever this was heaven, just like the biscuits Hakyeon gave him during the train ride.

“My Dad is teaching me how to cook at the moment so I can care for myself in the future.” Taekwoon took another bite and swallowed it before continuing. “I promise, that one day I'll cook you something absolutely amazing as a thank you.”

“For real? Or are you just saying that because you're in Onigiri heaven?” Hakyeon joked with a laugh.

Taekwoon did not laugh. He was serious about that. One day he would thank Hakyeon for his help with a big meal of his own.

“Alright, but you are not allowed to forget that, okay? I don't joke about food.”

“Neither do I,” Taekwoon answered completely matter of factly and took the final bite out of his Onigiri.

They shared another laugh before Taekwoon finished his Onigiri in silence.

Once that was out of the way and Taekwoon's stomach had quieted down they both relaxed back against the Tree and enjoyed the scenery. It was also then when Hakyeon started Taekwoon's dreaded topic.

“What happened yesterday during class?”

Taekwoon had really hoped that Hakyeon wouldn't speak about it but that hope had been destroyed. His thoughts had been so quiet but now everything came rushing back as if jolted by an electric shock. His heart rate spiked up again and he had the feeling of throwing the Onigiri up again.

“I understand if you don't want to talk about it with me. We haven't known each other for that long. It's just-

I wanted to let you know that whatever is bothering you, I always have an open ear for my friends. This could be right now, or tomorrow. In a week or a year, it doesn't matter when. Just know that I'm there for you.”

It wasn't that Taekwoon didn't want to talk about it but just that he felt nowhere near comfortable enough with anyone. Sure, Hakyeon was kind of a safe space but he didn't know him. They had known each other for two days. No matter how comfortable Taekwoon might have felt around him during those two days, he just couldn't share this part of him right now. He didn't want to come across as odd or strange and then destroy this blooming friendship.

What if he had misjudged Hakyeon and the other would think him a freak if Taekwoon told him about voices sounding strange to him. He couldn't know, that was the point. And as long as he couldn't say for sure that no, Hakyeon would not do something like that, he couldn't confide in him.

“It's simply too much,” Taekwoon said in a fragile voice and he was close to tears.

Taekwoon couldn't tell him about all of his problems.

What he could do though is share his current problems. The small things that brought him to the brink of sleep depravation and about the vicious circle most of Taekwoon's thought's seemed to be stuck in.

And that's what he did. With shaking hands and an even shakier voice he told Hakyeon about his homesickness. There was the thing with his friends back home and the fact that he had to leave them. Not to mention his family, he'd never been this far away from them for that long.

He told him about wishing to be normal because most things in this school were just stupid. The house points frightened Taekwoon to no end because what if everyone hated him now that he had cost them so many already. What if they'd put the blame on Taekwoon if the year ended with their loss.

Then there was the fact that he couldn't use his phone to text his dad or that his music player didn't work and he couldn't drown out his destructive thoughts. The sleepless nights he had because of the missing music and how after that everything simply spiralled out of his control. At least one person was constantly around him, talking and touching him and just generally invading his personal space. On normal days he could handle that but without sleep that was an impossible task.

He told Hakyeon all of these little things that led to his breakdown and by the end of it, his cheeks were streaked with tear tracks. It was a relive though, Taekwoon had to admit. It was good to finally share those things with someone because at least it gave him the illusion that he didn't have to shoulder everything by his lonesome self.

And Hakyeon was a great listener.

Not once did he interrupt Taekwoon, not even when he eventually started crying. Most other people would have gone in for a hug. They'd hush him and tell him that everything was alright when, in fact, nothing was alright. Hakyeon on the other hand only gave a nod from time to time to show that he was listening. There was nothing of the pitiful look he usually got for his breakdowns. He was just letting Taekwoon speak his mind without any kind of judgement. Hakyeon also didn't reach out to him. It was clear that he wanted to but he respected the things Taekwoon had just told him and therefore restrained himself.

It was so freeing that Taekwoon's cheeks didn't stay wet for a long time.

In a matter of moments after his speech had finished he wanted to wipe them dry with the sleeves of a robe but Hakyeon was quicker. From his bag he had pulled out a handkerchief and gave that to Taekwoon, no comments or jokes added.

Silence had settled over them. Hakyeon simply stayed still while Taekwoon took the chance to recollect himself. Taekwoon was still overwhelmed with everything but he was glad he had shared at least some of his thoughts with Hakyeon. It felt like he could breath more easily now and his shoulders had lost some weight. This was very freeing.

No one talked for a long while but it was ultimately Hakyeon who broke the silence again.

“You know, your fears are not silly.”

Hakyeon had a faraway look on his face as he starred out onto the lake.

“I've also never been away from home for this long. In fact loads of the people in my house feel that way. I also understand your opinion about us wizards.”

Here Hakyeon gave a dry laugh.

“Who writes with quill's and scroll's if there are way easier ways of jotting things down.

Before you ask, I know what a pen is. I've got a friend here whose mother is a normal person. Her parents are divorced so she splits her time between them, which is why she grew up in the human world as well as the wizarding world. She's already in her 5th year and constantly complains about the impractical things wizards have.”

Hakyeon had started to pluck out single blades of grass in order to rip them apart while staring at the lake.

“About the house points? I would recommend you to just go and talk to them. Winning the house cup isn't everything. You don't even get anything special besides the chance to boast because your house is the best. Kind of useless if you ask me. Especially when it makes someone worry about loosing points to the point where they think that everyone will hate them. I think that's just sick and I'm pretty sure that everyone in your house will tell you the same. Gryffindor is known for it's loyalty so don't worry about them turning against you for something as stupid as loosing house points.”

That was actually a sound thought. Taekwoon had wondered before what the house cup would bring them and now that he had his answer he felt way less pressured. It still didn't keep his thoughts from spiralling into dangerous waters. Perhaps Hakyeon was right.

Oh what was he thinking? Of course Hakyeon was right. He needed to talk to his housemates, there was no way around that. Maybe he could do that today once they got back. From dinner that was. There was no way that Taekwoon could manage eating while explaining his problems. Especially because there were so many other students that could be listening in and he really didn't want to risk another breakdown.

“I know this sounds easy from my perspective but please don't worry so much. All new situation's require a period of getting used to. Some people manage to do that quicker than others. But so what? You need more time to accustom to Hogwarts? That's no ones business and if anyone makes fun of you for needing time then tell me and I'm going to eat them.”

That got a surprised laugh out of Taekwoon and he couldn't help the few giggles following it.

“I'm not kidding! I'll eat them with clothes and everything. Maybe I'll add some salt or pepper. Depends on the day.”

His shoulders were shaking in silent laughter and it was Taekwoon who clapped Hakyeon on the shoulder this time.

“Thank you, Hakyeon. I greatly appreciate your help but please don't eat anyone.”

“Speaking of eating anyone,” Hakyeon said as an afterthought as he packed away the wrapping, “how about we get back to the castle? I think it's dinner time. At least my stomach is telling me it's time.”

Before Hakyeon could stand up though Taekwoon stopped him by his wrist.

Oh good, his impulses still worked. Great. Not strange at all.

“Taekwoon?”

“Can we sit next to each other during dinner?”

If Hakyeon was surprised by Taekwoon's question he did a damn good job at hiding it.

“Of course we can,” he answered as if it was the most obvious thing in the world and pulled Taekwoon up with him.

“Come on let's go.”

Together they made their way back to the castle but not before Taekwoon took one more wistful look at where they just sat. He really needed to remember that place under the maple tree. It could help him a lot in the future.

“I wonder where we should sit,” Hakyeon thought out loud and stroked his imaginary beard. “It's probably best if we sit at your table, right?”

Oh no! Wrong! Completely wrong, Hakyeon. _Abort mission! Abort!_

“That way you could talk to your housemates and-”

“No!”

That shout gave both a fright. Seriously, what was wrong with his voice today?

“Sorry. I just don't think I can do that right now... I mean,” Taekwoon quickly added, “I'm going to talk to them but not uh... yeah... Not right now, please?”

“Hey,” Hakyeon said in that ever so soft voice and it instantly managed to put Taekwoon at ease, “don't worry. I'm not forcing you to do anything. It's alright if you don't feel like talking to them. Let's just sit at the end of Hufflepuff table, alright? I'll ask them to leave us alone for now and we can just enjoy a meal together, okay?”

“If that's alright with you...”

“Of course it is! I'm sure Minhyuk and the others can entertain themselves. I'm also pretty sure that they're going to pick up the discussion from lunch again.

Now that I mention it: Do you think bears make great pillows?”

* * *

Dinner was another nerve-wracking affair. The worst thing was entering the great hall though.

Mostly everyone was already seated and enjoying their meal but Taekwoon froze nonetheless. He knew it wasn't the case but he thought that everyone was staring at him. Taekwoon could see, with his own two eyes that most everyone was busy either eating or talking to their friends but still, the eyes that quickly scanned over to him felt as if they could bore themselves deep into Taekwoon's very being. It was completely silly but Taekwoon thought they were judging him. He wasn't entirely sure for what – and his imagination was also playing a huge trick on him – but it made him want to turn around and never come back again.

Luckily Hakyeon was there. With a steady hand at the middle of his back he steered Taekwoon towards the far end of the Hufflepuff table. Far away from vicinity of the teachers table were most of the first years sat.

“Ah Hakyeon, there you are,” the girl at the end exclaimed, the fringe of her blonde, almost orange, hair sliding over her forehead, “You're late.”

“It's the weekend, no one keeps track of time, Bom,” Hakyeon replied with a wink and placed himself next to her, motioning for Taekwoon to take the seat next to him.

“Oh you brought a Gryffindor over?” The girl with the reddish brown hair opposite of them asked.

Taekwoon's face heated up as several others turned towards him while he just averted his eyes towards his plate.

“Yes, he's my friend and needs some peace from those rowdy Gryffindors,” Hakyeon answered nonchalantly and started putting food on his plate.

“I see, well then we'll just leave you be?”

“That would be amazing, Dara, thank you. ”

Hakyeon threw another wink at the girl with the wavy hair and as if there was nothing special they just turned back to their conversations. Had it actually been that easy? Seriously, Taekwoon had prepared himself mentally to answer all the basic stuff like his name and to be nice and smile. Hakyeon really was amazing and he was putting a generous amount of rice on his plate.

_Wait, what?_

“Come on, Taekwoon. We're here now and I'll not leave you alone before you've eaten something.

I'll leave the rest up to you but I want to see at least a bit of meat and some vegetables. You seriously need to eat something. Especially for what you have planed.”

Taekwoon wasn't so sure about that. If he was being honest he thought that it would be better to just go on an empty stomach.

Said stomach was of a different opinion though and Taekwoon's brain agreed once it saw the tasty food options. Hakyeon was right. He had starved enough. The main reason why the food didn't seem to taste was because of the Hakyeon situation. Sure the stress was another part but that never really stopped Taekwoon from eating before because it gave him something to focus on other than his thoughts. With the Hakyeon issue he couldn't help but be reminded of his many problems so there was no space to think about food as tasty.

Now that the issue was resolved though he could enjoy it again and enjoy he did. The food was delicious as on his first day here. There was a great amount of Bulgogie of which he took a few slices and some salad wraps. He also enjoyed some rice with spinach, steamed soybean sprouts, Stir-fried Zucchini and a few dumplings. It was delightful and for the first time in a week he was actually full.

Hakyeon's chatter also helped to forget everything else for a blessed moment. That was until the first students started to leave for their rooms. Mostly first years from different houses. Under them, also Gryffindor's.

It wasn't a problem until he heard Eunkwang's cheerful voice and the agreeing baritone of Doojoon. Taekwoon really tried to but he couldn't keep himself from chancing a glance at them.

Wrong decision.

Eunkwang was looking back at him and at the lack of his chatter the others turned around as well. As quick as lightning Taekwoon averted his eyes again and focused on his empty plate while fiddling with his chopsticks. His stomach was turning the food in all kinds of different directions and Taekwoon thought he'd be sick.

Eunkwang's voice picked up again and slowly faded out as they presumably left the room. Great, now that everything with Hakyeon was alright, it was his roommates that hated him. Or probably all of Gryffindor? More and more of them noticed Taekwoon's presence at the Hufflepuff table and Taekwoon shrunk into himself more and more.

“It's alright, Taekwoon. They're probably just a bit confused at your sudden presence here. I mean you've been missing for 24 hours and I'm sure they've noticed that. Don't worry about. They'll understand once you explain it to them, alright?”

Taekwoon hated Hakyeon's eyes. There was so much raw honesty in them that Taekwoon didn't have any other chance then to believe him.

* * *

_It's going to be alright_, Taekwoon told himself as he climbed the stairs towards Gryffindor Tower. It was like a mantra.

**Step**.

_It's going to be alright._

**Step**.

_It's going to be alright._

Nonetheless, his chest tightened with every step he took towards Gryffindor Tower and once in front of the portrait of the Fat lady he thought he couldn't breath properly. He was thoroughly frightened at the prospect of facing his peers.

_Don't worry, Taekwoon. Everything's going to be alright. They are your house. They'll stand by your side. You just need to talk to them._

He took a couple of deep breaths before telling the Portrait the right password.

His throat felt as if he had eaten sand and his chest was still constricting his windpipes but he needed to do that. He needed to face them and that's what he did.

With slow steps he entered the corridor and stepped towards where the voices came from.

The common room was greatly visited but there were never all of Gryffindor's occupants which was a good thing. Still not good enough for Taekwoon. He would have preferred it if it was only his roommates but that was just wishful thinking. Also it wouldn't help. He needed them to know what was wrong. They couldn't read his mind after all.

“Taekwoon,” Kisu's surprised voice echoed through the room first and suddenly all eyes were on him again.

He took a very deep breath-

_I can do this._

-And let the air rush out of his lungs again before he found the courage to open his mouth.

“Hey...”

“Good to see you not looking like death warmed over-

Ow!” Yunho exclaimed as he rubbed the spot were Victoria had hit him.

“That's mean.”

“It's true though, he looks way better now-

Ow! Stop that,” he whined after another slap to his shoulder. It probably wasn't as dramatic as it sounded, seeing as Victoria barely even touched him.

“Are you alright?” Victoria asked, ignoring the quietly whining Yunho.

There was concern in her eyes and this time not even Taekwoon's stupid imagination could manage to twist that. Now that he looked at everyone he couldn't trace any amount of the hatred his mind had made him believe seeing during dinner.

Confusion? Yes.

Hatred? No.

This was good. Taekwoon could absolutely do this, he just needed to no give in to the urge to run and hide. Of course he could do that but sooner than later there would be nowhere to run or hide.

It had to be now so he collected the rest bit of his courage and nodded.

“I'm better now.”

A couple of relieved sighs could be heard, mainly from his roommates, and Taekwoon was oddly touched. They were actually concerned about him. Maybe this house hadn't been such a bad choice after all.

“What happened then?” Doojoon asked, cutting to the case straight away.

“I-”

_Deep breaths, Taekwoon. It's alright. Everything is good._

“I was overwhelmed with everything,” he started with a wobbly voice but it grew in strength as he continued to talk.

“I missed my home and everything was just so new and so much and loud and I just couldn't cope with that. I could barely sleep and spent my nights in here so I wouldn't wake you.” He threw a look at his roommates but couldn't stomach their sadness and averted his eyes again.

“You have to know that it's not really something unusual for me. I overthink a lot of things. I fear that you'd hate me if I lost house points and that put even more stress on me when I actually lost some points. I never manage to talk about this kind of stuff because I'm scared. I'm scared that you'd think I'm some kind of weirdo and then everyone would be staring at me and that's just too much for me.”

He took another couple of breaths to calm his racing heart. It wouldn't help anyone right now if he just broke down again. He was not in danger, everything was alright. They would understand him and then everything would be better. Taekwoon just had to believe in that.

“It's not your fault. You've all been so nice to me, including me in conversations and stuff even though I never manage to say more than a few sentences. I'm honestly grateful for that but with everything coming together at once I felt overwhelmed by that.

On Friday then I couldn't go on any longer. I haven't had slept more than 10 or 12 hours and Transfiguration just wouldn't work out for me and then Mrs. Park was asking me something and everyone was staring at me and I needed to get out.”

Taekwoon felt tears gathering at his eyes again but he quickly wiped them away and suppressed the urge to cry. He needed to explain himself and crying would not help.

“She sent me to the hospital wing and I basically slept for the whole day. I have to say that I feel way better now but everything is still a bit much for me so I hope you understand it if I'm keeping my distance. It's really nothing personal, I promise. Sorry that I made you worry.”

He had done it. Taekwoon had actually done it! His chest had stopped choking itself and the sand in his throat was gone. His shoulders felt a lot lighter again and he was so proud of himself. He had opened himself to others a total of two times today. That was a gigantic step forward for Taekwoon and he felt good. Well maybe not 100% good but good.

Now he just had to wait for the others reaction, another nerve-wracking thing that made his knees wobble. The room was bathed in silence as everyone seemed to process Taekwoon's words.

Eventually it was Eunhyuk that broke the silence. His face was one of suspicion and Taekwoon's heart began to race. Was he mistaken? Did they actually hate him? Oh god this was not good. Why had he done that-

“So you're not thinking about switching over to Hufflepuff?”

That threw Taekwoon off. _What?_

“No,” he answered dumbfounded and before he knew it Eunhyuk's arm hung around his shoulder.

“Good, because we wouldn't have let you anyway, right fellas?”

A round of cheers echoed through the common room and Taekwoon's body filled with relief as he was squashed against Eunhyuk's side from which he was soon released again. The older boy stepped away and ruffled Taekwoon's hair like he was his little brother.

“Don't you worry about us. We might seem like an immature lot-”

“Speak for yourself,” Victoria interrupted with a laugh.

“- BUT we actually care for our people. We're Gryffindor for god's sake. If we're not loyal towards each other than what's the reason? And don't break your little head about the house points. Everyone loses them at one point.”

“He's right you know,” Siwon chirped up from his seat near the fireplace, “Our precious head boy Leeteuk once lost a total of 150 house points.”

“Seriously?” Nickhun, a 3rd year, exclaimed to which Siwon only nodded.

“But don't tell him I told you that,” Siwon said with a sheepish grin and looked around the room just to make sure that said Head Boy was not lurking somewhere in the shadows.

“There you have it!” Eunhyuk proclaimed with a grin and looked at Taekwoon. “No

one's perfect. Just be yourself and we'll do the rest.”

Another round of agreeing mumbles went through the room before the conversations resumed and everyone went back to what they were doing before Taekwoon's entrance as if it was nothing out of the ordinary.

That was, _almost_ everyone.

Eunkwang was still staring at him with something Taekwoon couldn't place on his face. It wasn't anger, that was clear. Was it confusion? Or maybe sadness? Why would he be sad though? Did something happen while he wasn't there?

Luckily it seemed like he would get his answer quite soon, seeing as Eunkwang came up to him with a shaky “Hey.”

Taekwoon answered with a simple “Hey” as well and thought that he could actually place Eunkwang's emotion. He was nervous. What with the way he was clenching his hand and fiddling with the hem of his shirtsleeve.

“So you were just overwhelmed... right?”

Taekwoon nodded.

“Does that mean that you still want to sit next to me?” His voice was so small that it almost got swallowed by the ongoing conversations in the room. Luckily Taekwoon was used to that.

“Of course!” But the courage quickly left Taekwoon. “Well that is if you uh actually want to. You ah don't have to, you know...”

“Yes!” Eunkwang was quick to deny and his hands stopped fiddling. “I mean yes, I still want to sit next to you. I was just worried that I might have made a mistake or something and that I was a horrible neighbour or something because you didn't sit next to me during dinner and instead on a complete different table. I just-”

And Taekwoon did something he had never done before – at least not outside of his family – he hugged Eunkwang. Taekwoon didn't know what came over him, only that he didn't want Eunkwang to feel that way. He was a good person and Taekwoon was glad for having him.

Taekwoon knew that his words would probably never rely what he wanted to say but sometimes they didn't have to. Sometimes actions spoke clearer than any words could and Eunkwang seemed to get it as he returned the hug.

This had been a brilliant idea and Taekwoon felt that it could only go up from here on.

* * *

And his feelings turned out to be right.

His housemates still included him in everything and they quickly learnt to read the signs and give Taekwoon space when everything was becoming too much. Taekwoon still couldn't sleep his proper 8 hours a day but he was getting there with the help of a potion Nurse Kim had given him. It wasn't a sleeping potion but something that would help Taekwoon's mind to calm down and make it easier to focus on getting actual sleep.

His magical abilities also seemed to have improved. He still couldn't transfigure the apple into a ball but at least he had managed to do half of it. It wasn't good but Mrs. Park was proud nonetheless and always encouraged him to keep on trying.

Potions wasn't a complete disaster anymore because he was actually awake enough to follow the instructions as good as possible and turned out, Taekwoon's quite good at it.

Charms was still his favourite though because they could listen to music and that was a huge plus in Taekwoon's opinion. It also helped, that he seemed to have a knack for it.

Closely followed by Charms were flying lessons. Taekwoon loved the feeling of being high up in the air where no one could reach him and he could just _be_. Sure manoeuvring his broom around needed a bit of work but all in all it was a good class.

History of Magic was just plain boring. Taekwoon didn't like history at his old school and he didn't like it here. He really didn't care that it was about the wizarding world because in some parts he was still mad at wizards for destroying his easy life, though it wasn't as bad as the beginning anymore.

Defence against the dark arts also wasn't his favourite subject. It involved quick reflexes and even quicker thinking. Taekwoon had good reflexes but the thinking part was still an obstacle he needed to manage.

He was also spending more and more time with Hakyeon. Sometimes they would sit together during Dinner times, either at the Hufflepuff table or Gryffindor. Hakyeon was quick to befriend a great deal of the Gryffindor's and even Taekwoon felt welcomed at the Hufflepuff table.

They would also meet up at the Maple Tree and spend the afternoon there every Friday after school. They'd talk about their week, about classes about home and their friends and so much more. It was a time Taekwoon always looked forward too and cherished. Sure they also saw and met up besides Friday but usually it involved one or two of their friends. Friday on the other hand was just the two of them and Taekwoon was grateful for that.

He still couldn't share everything with Hakyeon but for the small things it was a blessing.

All things considered though it had been not to bad of a year. Sure it was a horrible start and he still didn't like Hogwarts or the wizarding world but it made Taekwoon realize something that his old life hadn't made him.

Whereas previously he was content with just having Eunji and Minhyun he now had experienced Gryffindors solidarity. It was like a whole new world because Taekwoon never had something like that. At his previous school he was more of an outcast but here? Here he actually had people who cared.

It made him realize that for the first time in his life he actually wanted to try and fit in. He didn't want to always feel overwhelmed by too much noise or any of his other problems.

His father had often suggested asking a therapist for help but Taekwoon had constantly declined that. He didn't want to change the last bit that connected him to his mother. This year though made him realize that this connection would only hold him back and that would definitely not be something his mother would have wanted.

So during the Christmas break Taekwoon told his father about his decision and together they looked for a good therapist, which was easier said than done because they rarely had a free place. But it didn't discourage him. Together with his dad and his sisters they found a way and come this summer he would start his therapy.

His therapist though didn't make him any hopes. It would be a long way until Taekwoon would see any change at all and it was important that he kept on trying. And trying Taekwoon did. But that's a story for another time.

Right now Taekwoon just sighed, leant back in his seat and followed Hakyeon's and Kisu's silly discussion about flying carpets. Doojoon had his head stuck in a history book while Gikwang dozed away on the latter's shoulder. Minhyuk and Eunkwang were sharing some sweets and everything was fine, Taekwoon thought.

For the first time in a year – or possibly even his life – Taekwoon felt content with his life and somewhere deep down in his mind he even looked forward to the following years.

**Author's Note:**

> I hope you enjoyed your ride and I'd be grateful for some feedback.  
Especially seeing as this is my first time posting something on here. If there's something you think I should do differently, please tell me (for example if the Layout is confusing or something I don't know). Like so many others I'm most grateful for any kind of constructive criticism. 
> 
> Thank you for reading, I hope to see you soon!


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